It's time for 'The 2010 'Miss Universe Pageant' (Mon., 9PM ET on NBC). But who will be the winner? Oddsmakers predicted that Miss Ireland would walk away with the crown: but would that actually happen?

But before we even get to the winner, let's deal with the only reason that most people watch this show: the swimsuit competition! It's a little pointless for us to describe the swimsuit section of the show, but if you continue on to the next part of the article, then you can watch a video of the hottest women in the world dancing around in bikinis. So; there's that.

He's done more than his fair share of scoping out the ladies in his rock star life and as the lookin'-for-love star of 'Rock of Love,' and now Bret Michaels is putting his, um, skills to use in a beauty pageant.

The rocker and reigning 'Celebrity Apprentice' winner will join 'Today' correspondent Natalie Morales in hosting the Miss Universe Pageant on Aug. 23.

Yesterday I asked if The Miss Universe Pageant (or any pageant) was even worth it anymore, but I didn't realize until last night what I had missed during the Sunday night broadcast: Heidi Montag "singing" a "song." The song is so awful and forgettable it's actually mesmerizing. It's like an audition for America's Got Talent. A bad audition. Maybe Spencer really is the talented one of the *duo. Is she introduced with the words "she's a celebrity"?!?

I think her team just said to her "wear something skimpy and put as much hair in your face as possible so people don't know you're lip-synching!" She's really painfully clueless.To quote Bugs Bunny, what a maroon.

* I'm kidding.

Last night they crowned Miss Universe. [Insert excitement here.] Hey, I remember watching The Miss America Pageant with my mom and sister in the '70s when I was a kid, but in this day and age when there are so many "titles" and award shows, who cares? Even host Billy Bush announces it in the clip below as if he's a waiter reading the specials of the night (and who got these two hosts and thought they were special? Jeez.)

Also: how can this be Miss Universe? Were there any Klingons in it?

The Miss America Pageant just can't get a break.

It lost its major network contract a few years ago and went to CMT for two years, and now the show is homeless again. CMT has decided not to renew the contract for the show. Producers are looking for another network for the show.

I have no doubt they'll find another outlet, but I wonder why this show is having so much trouble when The Miss USA Pageant and Miss Universe Pageant get so-so ratings and still get renewed until 2011. Is it because Donald Trump is behind those events? Does Miss America have to be involved in some scandal to get attention? Maybe one of the Miss America contestants can kill a guy with her bare hands, or be photographed coming out of a car without underwear on? How about putting them all on an island?

Readers, lets help the producers out. How can this show compete in this new television landscape?