What does it take to get into a scandalous tabloid magazine? Or, in other words, how does one end up in the pages of the "National Enquirer"? That's the question on the current 'Colbert Report' (weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central).

Stephen interviews Barry Levine -- Executive Editor of the "Enquirer." This is the cheap magazine that you see in your supermarket check-out aisle, filled with tawdry stories about Lindsay Lohan and Mel Gibson and every other celebrity like that.

Mr. Colbert is outraged that he hasn't been on the cover of the magazine yet. "What do I have to do ... to make it onto the cover? ... Who do I have to sleep with?" he asks.

By way of compensation, Mr. Levine presents Colbert with a fake personalized issue of the tabloid. "STEPHEN COLBERT SHOCKER!" it says. Good stuff; but maybe someday we can get an actual scandal about Stephen. Maybe he could go on a drug binge, or get in a feud with Jon Stewart, or something like that. Of course, these are just suggestions. An actual Colbert scandal could be much cooler than these hypotheticals.

Tiger Woods may be keeping mum on exactly what happened before his now infamous car crash, but the ladies of 'The View' have a lot to say about it. TMZ is reporting that there was an affair and argument between Tiger and his wife, Elin Nordegren. This got Sherri Sheppard heatedly asking, "When did TMZ become the Bible?" Barbara Walters also questions The National Enquirer's role.

In this clip, the ladies break down the whole situation and Whoopi offers her view and advice for the Woods family.

The National Enquirer is reporting that Grey's Anatomy costars Patrick Dempsey and Isaiah Washington got into a fight on the set of the hit ABC drama on Monday. While Patrick, Washington, and costar T.R. Knight were waiting to do a scene, Washington said something nasty to Knight, and Patrick stood up for him. That's when Washington got into a shoving match with Dempsey, and one source says that Washington even tried to choke him, then stormed off the set. He later came back to finish the scene.

Supposedly, Washington is upset over the whole "McDreamy" nonsense that shows like The Insider and Entertainment Tonight and gossip mags are pushing. To which I say, "amen." Though it's not enough to McChoke somebody. I mean, that's just McStupid.

[via Defamer]

Update: Dempsey and Washington confirm the fight, though they say no punches were thrown.

According to TMZ.com, Lark Voorhies is suing the National Enquirer over a story it ran last year claiming she was a coke head. Voorhies, now 32, played Lisa Turtle on Saved by the Bell from 1989 to 1993. She has appeared in a long line of television roles since then, but, from her IMDB bio, it appears she hasn't had much work since 2002.

Apparently, "a friend" told the tabloid that Voorhies had a cocaine addiction and was bipolar. In a court filing yesterday, Voorhies said the allegations are false and asked for unspecified punitive damages. She claims the article cost her several jobs and humiliated her.