HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher returns for a new season this week, and Maher is going to return without writers, like most of the late night talk shows (except Letterman and Ferguson).

Two big segments of the show, Maher's opening monologue and his show-closing "New Rules" segment will be gone when the show returns. That's too bad, since "New Rules" is usually one of the best parts of the show (the monologue isn't long enough to really miss). Maher will go into the audience to talk to people. He should fare better than all of the other late night shows, since 95% of each episode is made up of a roundtable discussion with guests and perhaps a satellite interview. Though I wonder if some celebs and politicians will decline to appear on the show?

The show returns this Friday at 11pm Eastern.

My favorite part of Real Time With Bill Maher is the last segment, "New Rules." It's a segment devoted to looking at things a little bit differently, offering new rules for current events, celebrities, and politicians. Maher released a great book last year with the same title.

After the jump is a clip (from Salon) of the latest "New Rules" segment of the HBO Friday night show. It's entitled "Half-Cocked," and I would usually say to you that the clip is NSFW, but you can probably guess that from the title.

Most of my Thanksgiving memories are informed by television - the Macy's Parade, bowl games, Charlie Brown's popcorn and toast dinner, etc. With that in mind, celebrating television during the holiday season isn't as far-fetched an endeavor as I might be inclined to think. So, here's what I came up with when I counted my TV blessings instead of sheep:

Tim Gunn
Thank you, Tim Gunn, for adding a little decorum to the proceedings that are reality television. Tim Gunn is proof that you can retain your dignity and appear on television simultaneously. Gunn's ability to be critical, but not cruel is a downright anomaly in today's televised competition landscape. He's also given us a mantra that can't be beat in these days of whiny, extended adolescences - "Make it work."

Tonight's episode of HBO's Real Time With Bill Maher will air live from Washington, D.C. His guests will be National security expert Richard Clarke, Robin Williams, MSNBC's Chris Matthews, Florida Representative Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, and Senator Lincoln Chafee. We know they'll touch on all of the topics in the news this week (the war in Iraq, Mark Foley, next month's elections), but Maher ends the show with a special D.C.-centric set of "New Rules," his very funny (but often wise) series of observations about, well, just about everything. Check out a special preview video of Maher's D.C. rules after the jump.

My favorite line, about certain Republicans: "I know it's D.C. and I know it's hard out there for a blimp, but it's time to come to grips with the fact that there's only one woman in town who finds you two attractive, and she's banging Carville."