Having already spanned two generations of viewers, MTV is only widening its demographic grapnel, not necessarily by scoring mammoth ratings (because, duh, they do), but by attracting a continually diverse array of viewers. Some might pledge loyalty to tracking the ongoing [non]saga of The Hills, while others might prefer to marvel at the tantrums thrown by one despicable, spoiled rotten princess after another on My Super Sweet Sixteen.

But it's the most impressionable members of the MTV audience -- adolescents and teenagers -- who have for years been submitted to arguably some of the most culturally irresponsible, intellectually insulting shows that continue to play in heavy rotation on the network. In fact, this family of shows, particularly Next, Date My Mom, and DisMissed, have one thing in common:

Kallissa Miller.

Despite the fact that I'm part of MTV's target demographic, I don't really watch the network. I only tune in as I'm getting dressed in the early morning and MTV's running its morning music video block. For the rest of the day, MTV seems to avoid actually playing full music videos like the plague. Instead, they fill their programming schedule with awful reality shows about spoiled pre-teens and dating shows so depressing that contestants are even willing to pee all over themselves to get out.

Now, please allow me to frolic about in my own fantasy world, in which I create my idea of MTV's perfect programming schedule. There are only five -- FIVE -- MTV shows that I would keep. That's right. Everything else should be full-on music videos. In my own MTV, there will be no Laguna Beach, no Pimp My Ride, and certainly no Yo Momma (how did they manage to pitch that?!)

I had heard rumblings here and there about a pilot for a sketch series from Mr. Show co-creator Bob Odenkirk called Next!, but the series was never picked up for a full season. According to Wikipedia, the show was created in 2002, and as you can tell from the clips below, it featured Odenkirk and some of his Mr. Show co-stars, including Jerry Minor (Lucky Louie) and Jay Johnston (The Sarah Silverman Program and Moral Orel).

The clips definitely have a Mr. Show-like vibe, especially the ad for a car dealership featuring Johnston as the inept brother of the owner (Odenkirk), and Minor singing a ballad to the American flag and its booty ("it's only Panama, baby").

Anyway, here's a small sample of what might have been (or what once was and then wasn't):

[via Dead Frog and CC Insider]

Starz is getting in on the reality show phenomenon (arguably, a little late). Starting June 19, it will air ten-minute episodes of a new reality show where the winner gets a role in a new movie starring Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore, and Jessica Biel. The series follows more than 200 actors from auditions to the winner's appearance on set of the movie, Next. I'm not sure if the series is meant to deter people from becoming actors or inspire them-- or maybe it's simply a behind-the-scenes look at landing a role in a movie. The series is called Looking for Stars.