Our congress has a cute way of handling problems. Instead of actually doing anything about them, what they do is pass a Something Something Bill of Rights.

For instance, when Spirit Airlines recently announced that they were going to charge for the use of overhead storage space on their airplanes (a prelude, of course, to their ultimate plan of stabbing each customer in the throat, then charging for tourniquets), Congress handled the problem by dredging up the old "Passenger's Bill of Rights" idea once again.

Now, some might criticize Congress by saying, "Passenger's Bill of Rights!? We don't even have the actual Bill of Rights on our side when we fly", but those people are missing the point: Bills of Rights only exist to take up space.

As it happens, taking up space is exactly what a columnist needs to do each week as well! So, today marks the beginning of a new series: the TV Watchers Bill of Rights!

Here's tonight's lineup of new shows and events (all times Eastern). Check your local TV listings for additional information.

Starts at 7:00
ESPN: '2010 NFL Draft' -- Rounds 2 and 3

8:00 to 9:00
ABC: 'Wife Swap'
The CW: 'Smallville'
NBC: 'Who Do You Think You Are?' -- Two Hours
Cartoon Network: 'Ben 10: Ultimate Alien' and 'Generator Rex'
Disney: 'The Suite Life on Deck'
Nick: 'Big Time Rush' and 'Victorious'

9:00 to 10:00
ABC: 'Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution' -- Season (series?) finale
Animal Planet: 'I Shouldn't Be Alive'
Cartoon Network: 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars'
CMT: 'Gator 911' and 'Danger Coast'
Discovery: 'Swamp Loggers'
HBO: 'The Ricky Gervais Show' and 'The Life & Times of Tim'
National Geographic: 'Dog Whisperer'
TeenNick: 'Degrassi: The Next Generation'
TLC: 'Say Yes to the Dress' -- Season premiere. Two 30-minute episodes
SyFy: 'Stargate Universe'

10:00 to 11:00
ABC: '20/20' -- Stories on false accusations
CBS: 'Miami Medical'
BBC America: 'Friday Night With Jonathan Ross' -- Idris Elba; Kiefer Sutherland; Gemma Arterton; performance by Alphabeat
CMT: 'Smoke Jumpers'
HBO: 'Real Time With Bill Maher' -- Journalist Matthew Continetti; security expert Susan Eisenhower; Rep. Alan Grayson; counter-terrorism expert Richard Clarke; activist Dr. Jack Kevorkian
Discovery: 'American Loggers' -- Season finale
E! 'The Soup'
Food Network: 'Private Chefs of Beverly Hills'
SyFy: 'Merlin'
Starz: 'Party Down' and 'Gravity' -- Season and series premieres, respectively
TLC: 'Four Weddings'

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

Chris Berman is a fixture at ESPN. He's like the Jay Leno of ESPN, and as such, Berman's just gotten an extension to remain with ESPN for ... forever. Or so it seems. Berman's deal has been termed multi-year. Considering that he's going to be 55 on his birthday -- May 10 -- and he claims that he doesn't want to be broadcasting in his 60s, that means he's probably going to be doing the Swami for at least five more years.

Berman has been called the face of ESPN, and that's probably true. He's been there since 1979, just one month after the sports cable giant began as a fledgling idea that many assumed would never make it. An all-sports network? Are you mad? Seems hard to believe that now, but 31 years ago it was a radical notion and Chris Berman was a wannabe sportscaster in Hartford, Connecticut, who took a chance with the cable start up. It paid off big time when ESPN became the worldwide leader in sports broadcasting.

Unless you're a National Football League fan like me, the idea of watching hours and hours of college players being selected one by one to potentially play for a team, is as boring as watching someone in fishing for bass. Well, it turns out there's an audience for both! No seriously, when ESPN began covering the NFL Draft in 1980, the network could have never anticipated that it would grow into a ratings draw.

Now, the draft has been supersized. In 2010, the NFL Draft will be three days long and in mostly in primetime. The 75th annual National Football League Draft will commence on Thursday, April 22 at 7:30 - 11 p.m.. That'll just cover round one. Rounds two and three continue on Friday, April 23 at 6:30 - 11 p.m., with the final four rounds dominating daytime on Saturday, April 24, from 9 a.m. to whenever it's over.

• USA has an NCIS marathon all night.
• At 8, CBS has Streisand: Live in Concert.
• FOX has two new episodes of Cops at 8, followed by a new America's Most Wanted.
• HGTV has a new Divine Design at 8.
• Disney has the movie Hatching Pete at 8.
• At 9, Lifetime has the movie Unstable.
• CNBC has a new Suze Orman Show at 9.
  
• Sci-Fi has the movie Carny at 9.
• Hallmark has the movie Chasing A Dream at 9.
• ESPN has the Lakers/Jazz game at 9.
• Also at 9: ESPN2 has coverage of the NFL Draft.
• At 10, CBS has a new 48 Hours Mystery.
• BBC America has a new Graham Norton Show at 10.
• At 11, FOX has a new Mad TV, then a new Talk Show with Spike Feresten.

Check your local TV listings for more.

Here are the weekly cable ratings, by number of viewers.

1. The Sopranos (HBO)
2. NFL Draft (ESPN)
3. WWE Monday Night RAW - 10pm (USA)
4. WWE Monday Night RAW - 9pm (USA)
5. Hannah Montana (Disney)
6. SpongeBob SquarePants (Nickelodeon)
7. Hannah Montana (Disney)
8. The Suite Life of Zack & Cody (Disney)
9. Hannah Montana (Disney)
10. NBA Playoffs (TNT)

It must be great to be rich and well-known. You can go completely out of your area of expertise and actually have professionals looking for your opinion.

That's what I thought of when I read this story about Curb Your Enthusiasm/Seinfeld creator Larry David. He's consulting with New York Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum and coach Eric Mangini about their draft choices. Turns out David is a big, big football fan, and called the Jets up last year to give them some advice. They didn't listen to him last year, but this year they're actually talking to him.

This could be a trend. I want to hear Rosie O'Donnell's advice on who the Red Sox should trade before the All-Star Game break, and I wonder if Andy Dick knows how well David Beckham is going to do in Los Angeles?

[via TV Tattle]

1. The Sopranos (HBO)
2. NFL Draft (ESPN
3. WWE Monday Night RAW - Mon, 10pm (USA)
4. WWE Monday Night RAW - Mon, 9pm (USA)
5. SpongeBob SquarePants - Saturday, 9:30am (Nickelodeon)
6. Fairly Odd Parents - Sunday, 10am (Nickelodeon)
7. Fairly Odd Parents - Saturday, 10am (Nickelodeon)
8. SpongeBob SquarePants - Sunday, 9:30am (Nickelodeon)
9. SpongeBob SquarePants - Saturday, 9am (Nickelodeon)
10. Fairly Odd Parents - Saturday, 10:30am (Nickelodeon)