According to NBC's site, the guests on tonight's Tonight Show are Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. Who are they, you ask? They're the "stars" of MTV's new, controversial reality show Jersey Shore. Now, please note that these aren't just two of several guests that Conan will talk to on the couch tonight, they're the only guests that Conan will talk to on the couch tonight. That's sadder than just having Heidi and Spencer on the show (at least there were other guests on that night).
The reason I say tune in late is because Norah Jones will be performing. Maybe she can save the show somehow but I doubt it. Every time this show does something cute (like last night's Christmas card) they do something that makes me say "I don't want to watch this show."
(S05E11) "How can she be a doctor and threaten to kill people?" - Kristen, about Nicole
Could fans of The Mole had written a better outcome for the show? I guess there is one scenario (which I'll get to after the jump to avoid front page spoilers) that would have been just as good as what happened tonight, but this was perfect too. And I'm actually happy with myself for correctly guessing last week who the Mole was. I even picked up on one of the clues! Of course, I had no idea what the sound meant until a couple of you readers played the sound backwards (thanks!).
Let's take a look at who won, who the Mole was, who lost, how the Mole fooled everyone, and what clues were scattered throughout the season.
At first I thought this was the season finale of The Mole. Then I found out that it's actually next week where we found out who the Mole is and who wins the money. According to the preview for next week, we'll also have a reunion of the executed players and we'll find out how the Mole sabotaged the game and what clues the show laid out for us. The latter sounds great, but a reunion? I can't remember what the finales for the first two seasons of The Mole were like (the ones hosted by Anderson Cooper), but did they have a reunion finale too? If I remember correctly, the game didn't end on a test and we found out who did best and who won the money, it was actually another challenge that revealed the winner and the Mole (I think one finale challenge had them opening various doors to see who was behind it, or something like that?).
Anyway, let's get to what happened in this episode.
So here we are down to four players: Nicole, Paul, Craig, and Mark. These are the four players that a lot of us have been thinking could be The Mole. That means we're great at guessing this game but it also makes it harder to figure out at this point since any of them could be the guilty party.
It could also mean there's just no way to figure out who the hell the mole is so we might as well just sit back and enjoy the show. But I can't leave it alone...
(S05E08) I was always terrible at math in school, which probably explains why I'm typing this right now. So this episode of The Mole, at least the first half, is rather tense for me. I like to follow along with the questions and the clues and try to figure out stuff myself in this game (as much as you can in an edited format), and all of the questions involving math problems in the first challenge confuse me. Still, I knew the answer to that one question was 455, and I couldn't understand why Clay was insisting it was a number it couldn't possibly be. Could he be screwing up the numbers on purpose because he's (insert dramatic music)...the Mole?
(S05E06 and S05E07)
Yup, that's right, there are two episodes of The Mole this week, thanks to last week's interruption by The Bachelorette. Of course, it turns out that the first episode is just one of those reality show "up to this point..." rehashes that we often get. These always bore me, especially since I've seen (and reviewed) every episode already. I'm sure there are a few new clues to who the Mole is in this recap, but I'll be damn if I could find them.
We did, however, get to see some unseen footage, including the very large Craig rolling over some of his fellow players on a bed and Nicole saying "All I have to do is be black and die," a quote from an earlier episode that I had forgotten about. We also get to see a new scene where Nicole and Alex admitted throwing that "Fruit of the Luge" challenge. But overall, it's not really a needed episode for fans.
So let's get to this week's new adventure...
(S05E05) Nicole said something interesting tonight, right at the top of the show. "Why is that everyone I pick as the Mole gets executed and I don't?" That's a good question, because you would think that if Nicole is truly concentrating on one person every time she takes the quiz that she would have been eliminated by now. Maybe she's The Mole! Of course, we can make that case for every single one of the remaining contestants at one point or another. Well, except for the one that was executed tonight, the player that a lot of viewers picked because this person was rather quiet and flew under the radar. Just goes to show you that you really can't predict who's going to get kicked off the show.
(S05E04) "In my everyday life, the only place I hike to is Bloomingdale's." - Nicole
Wow, I think a lot of people lost their Mole pools tonight.
But before we get to that, let's talk about those journals. I think tonight showed that, if the rules allow it (though Nicole is always bending the rules), players on this reality show should make duplicate copies of what they write in their journals. Or tear out important pages and stuff them down your sock or something. To some players, the journals are more of a pain because there's too much info and they'd rather keep it in their head. To others, the journals are their lifelines in this game, and those players were probably very stunned tonight.
(S05E03) "There isn't a single person in Santiago my size." - overweight Craig, walking around in his underwear
So tonight I decided that instead of just looking at all of the players equally to see if they were the Mole, I would focus on the two players that I have narrowed it down to (I know, a little early, but you have to start looking early). So I paid attention to everything that Mark and Victoria said, did, ate, wore, and didn't do. And you know what? I'm as lost as I was in the opening scene of the first episode. OK, not that confused, because after tonight's third person was eliminated, I guess mathematically I have a better idea of who the Mole is or isn't. But I know that it's not easy to figure this out.
I also know that I don't want to see Craig walking around in his underwear ever again.
(S05E02) "I'll kill you in your sleep...I can do it and not leave any forensic evidence." - Nicole, to Paul
Uh...wow. That's one of the more provocative statements made in the history of The Mole. Of course, if this show was on CBS Nicole would have said, "...I can do it and not leave any forensic evidence and even the CSI: Miami team wouldn't be able to prove I did it." The funny thing is, Nicole wasn't totally out of line in saying it. Just when you think Nicole was the "evil" one on this reality show, another strong contender shows up: Paul. I don't know which one I'd rather talk to less, though Paul pulled ahead of Nicole tonight in many ways.
(S05E01) "What's wrong with being smart and gorgeous at the same time?" - Nicole
Oh, it's so good to have The Mole back on the air.
I realized how much I loved the show the minute I heard the first notes of the theme song (at least I think it's the same as before) and the opening scenes. I haven't seen any full episodes since the last Anderson Cooper episode in season two (the celeb editions didn't interest me at all), but all of the good feelings I had about how entertaining the show was came flooding back.
But how did the rest of the episode hold up?
This week Ray Liotta was arrested for drinking and driving. With so many stars getting taken in for DWI's it makes you think that maybe Hollywood is suffering from a severe alcohol problem. But upon closer look, it's clear that folks like Ray Liotta, Nicole Richie and Mel Gibson enjoy paraphrasing the popular bumper sticker... They get drunk, they drive, their expensive lawyers and publicists get them off the hook and do damage control...no problem!
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