off the air

Repeat after me, "I want my Food Network, I want my HGTV!" That's what the disgruntled Cablevision subscribers might be shouting soon if Scripps Networks and Cablevision don't reach a deal on fees.

As of 12:01 on New Year's Day, three million TV subscribers in suburban New York, New Jersey and Connecticut were shocked that Food Network and DIY and HGTV and all the Scripps networks were off Cablevision.

I don't know how the corporate folks feel about this kind of negotiation, but as a TV viewer I think it sucks. I used to live in that market and if I was expecting to watch Food Network, I would expect to see it.

If you tune into TV Land on September 25 from 6 to 7 p.m., don't expect to see anything. No really, you won't see anything because the network is going off the air for that hour in honor of Family Day -- A Day to Eat Dinner with Your Children. The idea, I guess, is that if there's nothing being shown on TV Land you'll have no choice but to eat a meal with your family. Frankly, I think the American family needs more persuading than that. Maybe they could hire goons to break into people's homes and tie them to the dinner table and force them to eat at knife point. Even better, they could get TV Land personalities like Henry Winkler and Mr. T to do this. I'd be honored to have the Fonz force feed me a potato. That kind of experience could only make me a better person.