March 19 will mark the 3 year anniversary of Operation Iraqi Freedom. The first year anniversary was paper, the second anniversary was (we were hoping for) oil, and the third year anniversary will be Operation Swarmer, the largest air assault since Shock and Awe. Happy anniversary! "It's our way of telling Iraq we would do it all over again..."
Jon Stewart started off by wishing us a Happy Valentine's Day and hopes that we're all getting laid ("Consider us foreplay this evening"). Aww, cheers, Jon. Same to you.
As if TDS didn't rub it in Cheney's face enough in the last episode, they brought it up again: Vice President Dick Cheney shot a 78 year-old man in the face because he mistook him for a bird. Well, it turns out it was a lot worse than they had previously stated. In actuality, Vice President Dick Cheney shot a 78 year-old man from the side and then up to the face (birdshots spray). Holy crap.
Well, it was no surprise that the first news to be reported was "Cheney's Got A Gun". Vice President Dick Cheney shot a 78 year-old man. In the face. While quail-hunting. The face. While quail-hunting. The injured man, Harry Whittington, is the first person to be shot by a sitting Veep since Alexander Hamilton. At least the Aaron Burr story had some good meat to it... The Hamilton/Burr fight was over political maneuvering, but the Cheney/Whittington case was that Cheney mistook Whittington for a bird.
"The Great Firewall of China": Google has agreed to censor their Chinese websearches. That's a little... strange. Jon tested out the new censored Google by running a search for "underage Asian beaver" and clicking "I'm feeling undying obedience to our fearless leader". Up came a Beijing Online article about the high birth rate of beavers.