ozzy osbourne

Listen up kids: Don't do drugs, because, uh ... something.

Ozzy Osbourne appeared on 'Today' to promote his autobiography "I am Ozzy" and discussed the drug and alcohol dependence that has plagued him for much of his career. Osbourne also offered cautionary advice for those who might be enticed by drugs and alcohol ... he just can't seem to remember what the advice is.

Watch the video after the jump.

More of our best of the decade coverage, which started earlier today. You can read the other posts at the link above. Here, we talk about our favorite reality contestants and participants.

Whether we like it or not, the '00s introduced us to a new form of celebrity: the reality star. In previous decades, the closest we got to this were especially entrancing personalities from MTV's Real World. These people gained fame for acting like well-crafted exaggerations of their real selves.

Faster than you can say, "I didn't come here to make friends," networks picked up on the public's fascination with reality TV like Survivor and they pushed it to the popularity that it has reached today. Now, reality shows barely reflect what happens in normal people's lives but are generally more like high-concept game shows or extremely scripted improvs. But people keep watching, because the personalities are big and captivating.

Yup. Strategic footage editing does wonders. Here are some of our personal favorites from the genre, but feel free to comment with your own worthy additions!

For those who might think the new Osbournes: Reloaded variety show is a quick-fix, six-episode ratings boost, think again. Reloaded, which premieres Tuesday at 9PM on Fox, was two years in the making. According to Sharon Osbourne, who spoke with reporters via a conference call Thursday, the family was given a somewhat open-ended invitation to return to television, and they wanted to make sure they picked the right project.

They cycled through a few options, rejecting most of them, including one idea that will be a smaller part of the finished product. "It was going around the country just looking for other Osbournes, and I was like, I don't think so," Sharon told the group. "But we did keep that as a segment on the show."

In a sure sign of the apocalypse, the variety show concept from the 1970s (such as Donny and Marie and The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour) is making a comeback. Only this time, it stars Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne.

The Fox show is as-of-yet untitled and will be executive-produced by James Sunderland, an exec producer on America's Got Talent where Sharon Osbourne is a judge. The show will be shot in Los Angeles and the plan is to start with a Christmas special.

"The plan is to blend musical perfs by the Osbournes and others with comedy sketches as well as gameshow, audience participation and out-of-studio taped elements", said Mike Darnell, Fox's President of Alternative Entertainment. The show may even have a segment called "The Osbournes Meet The Osbournes" in which Ozzy and family are filmed meeting other families named Osbourne.

If anything, this is going to be The Brady Bunch Variety Hour on acid. It's sort of appropriate that it's going to Fox. Perhaps the theme can be a heavy-metal riff of The Brady Bunch theme song.

I used to love watching Ozzy on The Osbournes, even if he did make about as much sense as Paula Abdul. But I guess Ozzy isn't as "out of it" as I thought. According the New York Post, Ozzy was scheduled to perform during the American Idol May 23rd finale, but canceled at the last minute when he found out he'd be singing a duet with Sanjaya Malakar.

Ozzy reportedly called Sanjaya "a hairstyle-challenged idiot" and refused "be on stage with that idiot." Aerosmith's Joe Perry apparently had no problem appearing on stage with the infamous Sanjaya.

Airing intermittently on MTV and VH1 since the 1980s, Weird Al Yankovic's AL TV is basically a showcase for Weird Al's offbeat sense of humor, typically coinciding with the release of a new album. Weird Al's parodies and original songs was the first music I really got into, not counting "Pac-Man Fever," and more or less defined my sense of humor as a youngster. I lost interest in him as I got older, but still maintained an admiration for the poofy-headed one, because he's actually an extremely talented musician and composer, a fact often eclipsed by his penchant for writing silly songs about food and penning lyrics like, "you make me wanna staple bagels to my face, and remove them with a pitchfork."

My favorite part of AL TV was his "interviews" with different musical artists, and after the jump you can watch ol' Weird Al in action. Clearly, he's the Mike Wallace of nearsighted Hawaiian shirt-wearing freaks. Click on and enjoy:

Jack Osbourne, son of Ozzy and "star" of the reality series "The Osbournes," is apparently writing his autobiography, titled 21 Years Gone and set to be released by Pan MacMillan. The book will obviously touch on Jack's problems with drugs, his stint in rehab, and what it was like growing up with his famous father. While I suppose it's easy to laugh at the idea, given that Jack has been in the spotlight without having done much, my only minor complaint is that it's too soon. Given a few more years, the sort of people who read celeb bios might actually enjoy hearing what it was like growing up as Ozzy's son. Right now, though, I'm not sure people are clamoring for such a book.

[via Best Week Ever]