Jon Lovitz recently signed a rather Faustian contract with Jamie Masada, the owner of the Laugh Factory comedy club that will require Lovitz to appear on stage at the Los Angeles club every Wednesday for the rest of his life. In addition, Lovitz will write a blog for the Laugh Factory in which he'll offer advice to young comedians.

Really? The rest of his life? That seems so depressing. Will he be bound by his contract to simply sit on the stage in a wheelchair for a twenty-minute set that consists of nothing more than drooling and an occasional story about wars he never actually fought in?