Don't let anyone tell you that you can't get culture and literature from TV Squad. This is the second post about poetry today. (Tomorrow: e.e. cummings.)

I saw Suzanne Somers on Rachael Ray this morning, and then I go to Best Week Ever and see video of SNL's Kristen Wiig reading excerpts from Somers' book of poetry! Unlike the post link above, these words really are from Somers.

William Shatner has appeared on The Tonight Show to give his typically awesome take on the Twitter messages that Sarah Palin posted to her account when she was Governor of Alaska. Last night he appeared again to recite the Twitter "poetry" of her arch-rival Levi Johnston.

Update: Johnston and his lawyer demand a retraction from Conan, saying that Twitter account is actually fake and Johnston never said those things. Maybe Conan will apologize on tonight's show.

[Watch clips and episodes of The Tonight Show and other shows on SlashControl.]

Right as the public's sympathy was swinging in her favor, Rosie O'Donnell had to go and unleash another rhyme and verse on us via her blog about Donald Trump in which she creates a somewhat strained metaphor between a 1970s pimp and Donald working over Miss America.

Much like fellow TV Squad scribe Anna, I could care less about Rosie's public squabbles and controversies. However, I do find it endlessly amusing that the last word in these public debates comes in the form of butchered Japanese poetry. Rosie is, of course, more invested in the spirit of the haiku and has never put much stock in a strict adherence to the 5-7-5 syllable scheme. I'd argue that she's actually grown way beyond the haiku, flown by sonnets and is taking us straight into epic territory. With Rosie making The View must-watch TV these past few months, I think a year-end review of Rosie's top five poetic expressions is in order:

(S18E06)

You'll never take me alive, Grim Reaper! --Grandpa Simpson

Damn, this episode had a lot of guest stars: Tom Wolfe, Michael Chabon, Jonathan Franzen and Gore Vidal*. Oh yeah, and John Updike and Thomas Pynchon both make cameos on a writer's panel, sans dialogue. Pynchon, whose book Gravity's Rainbow I actually heaved to the ground and did victory laps around because I finally made it through the damn thing, was decked out in his usual paper bag mask. The best guest appearance of all goes to J.K. Simmons, who reprised his role as the fast-talking editor from the Spider-Man movies, this time as the editor of a poetry publication. The man should do more voiceover work. Hell, bring him back for more episodes of The Simpsons, give him a reoccurring character like Fat Tony or Sideshow Bob.