police women of memphis

Previously, when discussing 'Police Women of Memphis' (Thu., 9PM ET on TLC), we had made fun of Officer Virginia Awkward's somewhat unusual last name. (Yes, her last name is "Awkward." Feel free to insert your own jokes here.)

But now, on the latest episode, we learn that Virginia is planning to renew her wedding vows. Okay. Sounds like fairly standard reality TV show stuff. But as it turns out, Ms. Awkward is gay. Weird. And by "weird," we mean "cool." Maybe we haven't been paying close enough attention to the series thus far, but we did not know that about Officer Awkward! Probably our fault here.

Anyway, good stuff. Except for the unfortunate part. Since Tennessee has not yet legalized gay marriage, Virginia originally had to travel to Canada in order to marry her partner. But now, two years have passed, and she's renewing her vows in America. And all of Virgina's family and friends show up for the ceremony. It is all very moving. Still, we hope that one day, women like Virginia can get legally married in their own home state.

Well, for once on 'Police Women of Memphis' (Thu., 9PM ET on TLC), the cops pull some dudes over, and something bad doesn't happen. Officer Arica Logan and her partners stop a car upon suspicion of drunk driving. But magically, it all works out okay.

Both of the men in the car pass their sobriety test. Incredible! This has never happened before on a police-related reality show. But then, one of the accused starts singing and dancing and making jokes. The cops are all pretty amused.

Then, the young man says this: "Hey, can I hang out with y'all?"

"No," one of the policemen says. But still, it's kind of a bonding moment for everyone. And the cops are cracking up the whole time. At any rate, it's kind of nice to see something pleasant happen on one of these programs.

On 'Police Women of Memphis' (Thu., 9PM ET on TLC), the cops pull over a suspect who has a suspended driver's license and a warrant out for his arrest. You might assume he'd be concerned about the ensuing trip to the police station.

But he's only thinking about his grill -- "his gold teeth setup thing," explains one officer. The suspect doesn't want to leave it behind in the vehicle. "I don't know, it's kinda weird, but ... he's been cooperative so..."

She proceeds to retrieve the grill from an envelope in the car, hands it to him, and he dons it with pride. "You got your grill; you're ready to go," concludes the officer.

"A, B, C ..." Um, what comes next? Anyone? A little help? "D"? The next letter is "D," right?

This is all an important question on 'Police Women of Memphis' (Thu., 9PM ET on TLC). First, Officer Logan encounters a very drunken driver. How drunk is he? Well, let's find out. Logan tells him not to give the classic lie of only having drunk "two beers." So the guy admits that he's had about a half pint of liquor. Yikes!

In addition, while driving, the man was "doing sixteen miles an hour." No, he wasn't driving over the speed limit. He was so tipsy that he was crawling along the road without realizing it, and was actually only going sixteen miles an hour on the main road.

First, Logan tries to get the guy to walk in a straight line. He fails at that. So then she has him recite the alphabet -- and that doesn't go very well either. She has him start with the letter "D," but it goes pretty badly. "D, E, F, G, H, I -- muh muh muh muh!" he says.

Do not -- we repeat -- do not mess with the 'Police Women of Memphis' (Thu., 9PM ET on TLC).

On Thursday's episode, officer Aubrey Olsen arrives at an unruly gathering and though she doesn't know exactly what's going on, when she shows up, five young men take off. To Olsen, that automatically means that they've done something wrong -- "I'm thinkin' they've got somethin' illegal on them -- they've done something illegal."

Olsen gives chase and catches up with the young men who, it turns out, are all athletes (baseball and football) at a local high school. She's tickled pink. Not only is she double their age, but she was weighted down with 30 pounds of equipment. And she caught them. "I'm cool," she says.

Another week, another crazy naked guy on 'Police Women of Memphis' (Thu., 9PM ET on TLC). Officer Arica Logan must deal with a nude, strangely chatty fellow named Anthony Hayes. But it's no big surprise for her. Apparently everyone else on the police force has had to deal with him too.

Anthony starts off shirtless, wearing only a pair of stars-and-stripes suspenders. (Patriotic!) But then, he decides to get weirder, stripping down and showing Officer Logan his "skivvies," as he calls them. (That translates as "underwear," if you needed help with that one.)

Mr. Hayes seems either very drunk or a little bit addled. But he's also sort of vaguely amusing. And hey, let's not judge. Officer Logan doesn't seem that bothered by him -- she's more startled than anything else. She doesn't make any move to arrest the dude. Ms. Logan refuses to get mad -- even when Anthony hits on her while not wearing any pants. Or even when he tells her that she needs breast implants.

Half-naked old people on reality TV! That's never what you want to see. Still, that's what we get on 'Police Women of Memphis' (Thu., 9PM ET on TLC).

Officer Arica Logan responds to a distress call from a woman. The call says that the woman's next-door-neighbor has been exposing himself to her children. That's never good. But when Officer Logan arrives, the situation quickly becomes ... even grosser.

When the elderly man in question answers the door, he's wearing nothing but "tighty-whitey" underwear that is about two sizes too small. Well, and he's also wearing his socks and his shoes, which doesn't really improve things.

The new series 'Police Women of Memphis' (Thu., 9PM ET on TLC) follows the real-life adventures of four female cops. These woman are putting their lives on the line on the mean streets of Memphis, Tennessee.

[Spoiler alert.]