Ah, 2009. Come in, come in! Have a seat at my crystal ball. Oh, I know it's cracked, but don't worry -- it's still useful.
You are so young, so virile, my little new year. You are also ripe...ripe for me to predict your future. I see plenty in my cracked crystal ball -- yes, yes, it's working just fine. Some of it is good, some is bad, and the rest I can't see because of all the cracks. Those predictions probably don't mean much anyway. I mean, Dustin Diamond being cast in a remake of Cop Rock? Who would believe such tripe?
Oh, don't get up! Yes, Allison gave us her predictions already, but that was with a different ball. So, sit, sit, and let me predict your future in television through my fractured sphere.
TV Squad Hot Topics
Most Popular Articles
From Our Partners
- Save the (New) Date: Fox Moves Bones Finale
- Nashville: On the Record – 6 Ways the Behind-the-Scenes Concert Special Will Rock You
- Exclusive 24: Live Another Day Gallery — Go Behind the Scenes of Jack Bauer's Big Return
- What to Watch Wednesday: Modern Family Down Under, Nashville in Concert, Survivor and More
- American Idol Exclusive: Top 6 Song Spoilers!
- More From TVLine
- Cameron Diaz: I Haven't Worn Antiperspirant in 20 Years
- Surprise! Matt Bomer is Married
- First Look At Chloe Moretz and Denzel Washington In 'The Equalizer'
- Brad Pitt and Brett Ratner Enter Low-Budget Horror World With '3 Videotapes'
- Has Nicki Ever Been 'The Other Woman'? Lance Bass Gets the Dirt
- More From ET