Ah, 2009. Come in, come in! Have a seat at my crystal ball. Oh, I know it's cracked, but don't worry -- it's still useful.

You are so young, so virile, my little new year. You are also ripe...ripe for me to predict your future. I see plenty in my cracked crystal ball -- yes, yes, it's working just fine. Some of it is good, some is bad, and the rest I can't see because of all the cracks. Those predictions probably don't mean much anyway. I mean, Dustin Diamond being cast in a remake of Cop Rock? Who would believe such tripe?

Oh, don't get up! Yes, Allison gave us her predictions already, but that was with a different ball. So, sit, sit, and let me predict your future in television through my fractured sphere.