Normally, TV press kits come with more useless junk than an IKEA furniture kit. They usually come with T-shirts that are too small for the average TV critic's billowy build, toys that can turn the brightest human beings into easily-amused cats, and other assorted paraphernalia.

FX's press kit for the forthcoming second season of Sons of Anarchy has none of these things. There are no bloody brass knuckle sets, fake handlebar mustaches or even a lousy T-shirt that reads "The bitch fell off" on the back, perfect for that upcoming christening or bar-mitzvah.

That doesn't mean it's bad. In fact, it's one of the most bitching press kits to ever grace my cold, ink-stained hands.

We got this question today from a reader:

I'm just wondering how you go about obtaining press kits from networks. Can anyone get a press kit? A lot of web sites and blogs get them which surprises me because I thought that only huge corporations (national trades, etc) could get access to them. If I were to write a network requesting a press kit, do you think they'd send me one?

There's some confusion about the TV industry and press kits. A lot of people think that your publication or web site has to be really large and influential to get them. But that's not really the case. It actually comes down to secret passwords and insider information. Odd, but true.

So let me help you out here. If you call ABC and introduce yourself and your publication/site to them and ask to be on the list to get press kits and advance screening copies of new shows, they'll probably turn you down. When this happens, you simply utter the words "Rod Serling loved chicken salad." The network person will immediately put you on the list to get every press kit they send out.

After quite a quiet spell from the impressive (or maybe "overdone") press kits, FOX stirs things up once again with a press kit for their new upcoming show, The Sarah Connor Chronicles (starting Jan. 13 at 8PM EST).

Last week the TV Squad offices received a "mysterious" key in an envelope (it would have been more mysterious had the other side of the key not said 'The Sarah Connor Chronicles' on it). Along with the key was a note from ... John Connor (dun dun duuuun!), telling us to be on the lookout for another package. Wow, could the key, like, maybe open whatever he's sending?

This week we got the next package. Surprise! It's a safety deposit box (actually I was surprised, as I was expecting a car). And in case we didn't keep that all-important key sent last week, John was nice enough to tape another key to the top of the box. Apparently Terminators are afraid of keys.

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Like I said yesterday, the press kits have started to come in to the TV Squad offices. Some of them are way cool, some are downright silly and some are nonexistent. Just last week I got one in from the TV Guide Channel for their upcoming red carpet coverage of the Emmy awards. OK, sounds reasonable, right?

When I opened the box and the hermetically sealed canister within, what I saw made me fear that I had just unleashed some unseen beast unto my unsuspecting family. As it turns out, only my dog was in danger.

The press kits have just begun rolling in, and for the most part the networks haven't gotten nearly as fancy with the packaging as they did last season. FOX had a reputation for going way out of their way to make their packaging stand out, but the first couple of screeners sent (Prison Break, for example) didn't have much more than the DVD. With the first new-show screener, Nashville, they're back to their old ways.

Press kits usually come in one of two ways: they're either a very basic press kit, just a folder with the show's logo on it, and some print press materials inside, maybe a few photos. And then there are the other ones, the press kits with really cool collectibles inside and/or an innovative packaging. The one for FOX's Standoff seems to be in the middle. It comes with the basic paperwork stapled together (no folder??), but also includes two neat collectibles.

The press kits keep pouring in to TV Squad HQ. So far FOX seems to be the most on the ball about sending the kits fast and furious, as a new one appears at my door nearly every day. Some I ship off to other Squad writers, so you'll be seeing those shortly. This time we have Prison Break to look at. Shall we see what's inside?