This is the part of the season where Ryan gets creative with his elimination torture. Seacrest is the master of the long and tedious elimination. I wonder if, when he was in high school, he put his girl(?)friends through the same emotional rollercoaster ride before telling them that they would not be his prom date. Naw, no way. Seacrest was probably too nice a guy, too much of a dork to ask any girl to prom.

I will not put you through that same amount of torture -- Mandisa is out. I'm surprised, but not saddened by it. She was a great performer, but just didn't have enough personality to take her all the way. And what she lacked in personality, she made up for in big booty. Big boobs can get you to the top, but not a big butt. A big butt can only get you to about the middle. (Unless you're riding the coattails of P. Diddy...cough, cough....J.Lo) Plus, with Elliott and Paris joining her in the bottom three, no way was I rooting for Mandisa to stay.

You know who should have been in the bottom three? Kenny Rogers. He just doesn't have it anymore. I could make a lame he needs to "know when to hold 'em, and know when to fold 'em" joke here, but I'm not. Instead, I'm going to abruptly change the subject, and even more abruptly end this post. When is it going to be Dolly Parton night on American Idol? How great would it be to have Dolly Parton on? Her and Kellie could have a calamari giggle-off.