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quotes from tv

by Keith McDuffee, posted Jan 13th 2007 2:04PM

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the past couple of weeks from TV:

"In 48 hours, you solved 21 bank jobs, a murder and a kidnapping?" -- Det. Tutuola ribbing Det. Elliot Stabler about a confession given by a man on his death bed on Law & Order: SVU.
"Next time I need my gun cleaned, you're my girl... uhhh, what are you doing Saturday night?" -- Jason (David Arquette) to his doctor, Joanna (Lori Laughlin), on the premiere of In Case of Emergency.
"You twat! Why are you dying?! Actually, I wish I was dying... I bet I'd be better at it than you are." -- Guy to Mac, upon hearing about Mac's fatal condition, on Green Wing.
"So, if you want to solve a real mystery, go ahead and figure out who's taking my New York Times every Sunday. Or, better yet, how about why anybody on the planet actually thinks Dane Cook is funny!" -- Dr. Cox's response when his interns rave about House, on Scrubs.
"My penis is already packed." -- Denny Crane (who else?) on Boston Legal.
"We're back in Somalia, a country so poor, its charity ads run in Ethiopia." -- Jon Stewart, regarding the US troops' raid in Somalia, on The Daily Show.
"That's a crapload of woo." -- Jerome reacting to a giant gift basket from a publisher wooing Marin, on Men in Trees.