I am the worst person anyone could ever choose to conduct an interview with MC Hammer. A Transylvanian hermit who only knows how to operate an 8-track player would be a step up from me.

I didn't listen to his music growing up as a child of the 80s, except for the occasional sound waves that wafted passed my ears as my cooler classmates blared it from the stereos in their rooms. I've never even interviewed anyone in the hip-hop community.

I've done the research. I studied the first two episodes of his new A&E reality series Hammertime, premiering next Sunday at 10 PM Eastern. I've read up on his days as a batboy with the Oakland A's where Reggie Jackson first gave him the nickname "Hammer' after "Hammerin'" Hank Aaron. I found out from my old man who hates it when I call him my old man that Hammer was even in the Navy. Holy crap. My Dad, the whitest man I know, knows more about MC Hammer than I do.