red light district

Whether you're a Christian or, like me, belong to a secret church that worships elves, you gotta love the holiday season. This year you can make the season even brighter for someone by giving them what will probably be the most popular gift this year next to the new Play With Me For A Week Then Throw Me In The Closet And Never Think About Me Again Elmo: Dustin Diamond's four year old sex tape. Who among us hasn't wished upon a star for our own copy of Screech doing the nasty with a strange woman? I'm going to wait for the enhanced DVD version with audio commentary from Francis Ford Coppola, but if you just can't wait, porn company Red Light District, the same company that released Paris Hilton's infamous sex tape, will be releasing the video online and in stores. If I were you I'd grab my sleeping bag and grab a spot in line now.