A New Year's resolution is a funny thing. On the one hand, resolutions are a great way of beating back seasonal depression. They allow us to put our old ways behind us. Making a resolution is a way of acknowledging that there's hope for us yet - all is not lost. Then, the year begins. The resolution gets left by the wayside. What was once a hopeful promise you made to yourself becomes indicative of failure.

So, why make resolutions at all? Theoretically, because we keep hoping that we can become the best possible versions of ourselves. And, what exactly would be the best possible version of the Simpsons? Lucky for you, Fox has the answer. In an odd, brief press release promoting the January 7th return of the show, Fox listed the adult Springfieldians' 2007 resolutions. You can check them out after the jump. Perhaps, they'll inspire you to turn over a new leaf this holiday season.