(S04E04) After a pre-credit opening where the male deputies try to conduct a "panty raid" and end up face to face with a completely naked and pregnant Wiegel, we cut to the first real scene of the episode where a motivational speaker Dangle found on the internet gives the deputies some rather confounding advice, including this diatribe:

"I ask you, does the belt not go through all the loops? You all see yourselves as brilliant little pebbles just waiting for your code word. Well, what if your code word doesn't come, huh? Are you gonna sit around in your cruiser and wind up ejected from somebody's crazy physics package?"

More profound advice I've never heard. Let's move on.

Oh, now they've gone too far.

The crazy "let's remake an old TV show and put it on the big screen!" mania continues. Magnum, P.I. is coming to the big screen, and it now has a writer and director. It's Rawson Marshall Thurber (Dogdeball).

I have absolutely no confidence that this will be a good movie. Nothing against the director. I'm talking about the whole concept of remaking TV shows for the big screen. To put it bluntly, who the fuck wants to see a big screen Magnum movie without Tom Selleck? Maybe he'll be in it, but I seriously doubt it. They'll go younger, hipper, edgier, with rap on the soundtrack (see also: Miami Vice).

Studio execs are clueless. The reason why certain shows are beloved in the first place is because of a specific time, a specific place in history, a specific cast. It's not that Charlie's Angels, the original show, was such a great concept or plot, it's that it was that three specific actresses and the 1970s. People liked it back then because of the T and A, and they like it now for the nostalgia/kitsch value. Bringing it back and just putting three other actresses in it? That's why it sucked. Same with The Fugitive, The Beverly Hillbillies, I Spy, and a ton of others. 

(Hell, this Magnum flick might turn out to be a good "movie," but it won't be Magnum, P.I.)

And the worse part? This pretty much means any future TV reunion movie with Selleck, Hillerman, Manetti, et al has no chance of ever becoming a reality.