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It's a shame that television doesn't have the equivalent of the Razzies, an award that extends much needed raspberries. It's such a veritable gold mine of sub-standard entertainment that the list of nominees could circle the globe twice and the awards show itself would take three days.

Then again, the Emmys are long enough.

Thanks to this lack of a punching bag for bad television, tons of horrific, terrible and just plain bad shows don't get the golden punch to the groin that they so richly deserve. They simply crawl back into the darkness unscathed, fresh-faced and ready to strike again. So in honor of Bob's "Nine People and Shows that Deserve Emmy Nominations," here are the shows that would have won big at the Emmys ... in the Bizarro World!

The networks have had a quiet summer, quietly introducing scripted bomb after scripted bomb, so they're certainly ready to jump into the new fall season. And It looks to be an interesting one. ABC is scheduling a two-hour block of new comedies on Wednesdays as the sitcom tries to make a comeback.

Even more risky is NBC handing 10:00 to Jay Leno every night of the week. Everyone's waiting to see how that one plays out. FOX is banking on huge positive buzz for Glee to make it a hit, while ABC is hoping FlashForward can pick up where Lost is leaving off when it wraps its run this season.

To help you with it all, TV Squad has put together a handy calendar of all the premieres so you can schedule responsibly in this busy time of TV watching. Some nights have as many as twelve premieres scheduled, so you might need to invest in a few more DVRs to catch all your favorites; Monday's still look grim. Bookmark this page and you'll have it handy to help see you through.