There's some debate about who the current "Fastest Man Alive" is. Some people say it's Usain Bolt; some people say it's Tyson Gay. ... But at any rate, Tyson Gay is no worse than the second fastest man on the face of the Earth. And now, Shaquille O'Neal must beat him in a race.

'Shaq Vs.' (Tue., 9PM ET on ABC) is a show where O'Neal takes on the top athletes in he world, challenging them in their own sports. Tonight's match-up: Shaq versus Tyson. The pair run a 60 meter race; except that Shaq gets a 30 meter head start. Hey! That isn't exactly cool! So O'Neal only has to run half as far as Gay?

Will the world's (possibly) fastest man win, even if he has to run twice as far as Shaq? Let's watch and see. And no matter who wins, is this even a fair contest for either athlete?

It's been a big week for the Big Aristotle. Oh, sure, Shaquille O'Neal's last team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, may have fallen apart against the Boston Celtics in the Eastern Conference finals even faster than his relationship with departing star LeBron James deteriorated. But in a classic "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" moment, Shaq yesterday signed on with the Celtics and now, as proof that living well is the best revenge, it appears his prospects as a television star off the court may be as good as his chances for another ring on the court.

That's because, according to The Hollywood Reporter, the first numbers have come in for the second season premiere of 'Shaq VS' and the news is good: with a 1.9 rating in the key 18-49 demographic and an overall total of 5.4 million viewers, the episode was up 12 percent over last year and set a new high mark for the series.

It's Shaquille O'Neal versus Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Wait! That's not fair! Shaq is much taller. ... Oh; oh, all right. They're not competing in basketball? That's okay then.

On 'Shaq Vs.' (Tue., 9PM ET on ABC), Shaquille takes on race car driver Dale Earnhardt. Shaq is over seven feet tall, and Dale is only six feet. But Shaq's normal height advantage won't help him here. During the competition, the pair of athletes are racing cars. And Shaq is in fact at a disadvantage, since his height requires a specially-made car with a lift-off top just so he can get into the thing.

So let's get to the results from the actual challenge. Can Shaq manage to outrace Dale? They have five laps to figure this out.

Heads up: Shaq is coming back to ABC.

Variety is reporting that the network has renewed the summer reality series 'Shaq Vs.' for a second season. Expect Shaquille O'Neal to reprise his role as challenger against a host of different professional athletes in their own sports, as well as some new competitions outside his usual realm, including competitive eating and, of all things, spelling bees.

• At 7, ESPN2 has The U.S. Open.
• At 8, FOX has a new Hell's Kitchen, followed by a new More To Love.
• The CW has the season premiere of 90210 at 8, then the series premiere of Melrose Place.
• ABC Family has a new 10 Things I Hate About You at 8, followed by a new Ruby & The Rockits.
• ESPN has two new episodes of The World Series of Poker at 9.
• At 9, ABC has a new Shaq Vs., then a new Primetime: Family Secrets.
• CBS has a new Big Brother at 9.
• NBC has a new, two-hour America's Got Talent at 9.
• History Channel has a new episode of The Universe at 9.
• Also at 9: Syfy has a new Warehouse 13, then a new ECW.
• At 10, FX has the season premiere of Sons of Anarchy.
• A&E has a new episode of The Cleaner at 10.
  
• Food Network has a new Chopped at 10.
• There's a new Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre World at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

• At 8, FOX has a new Hell's Kitchen, followed by a new More to Love.
• ABC Family has a new 10 Things I Hate About You, then a new Ruby & The Rockits.
• Nickelodeon has a new Glenn Martin, DDS at 8.
• ESPN has two new episodes of The World Series of Poker at 8.
• ESPN2 has more coverage of The Little League World Series at 8.
• At 9, ABC has a new Shaq Vs, then a new Primetime: The Outsiders.
  
• CBS has a new Big Brother at 9.
• NBC has a new America's Got Talent at 9.
• There's a new Nova scienceNOW on PBS at 9.
• Syfy has a new Warehouse 13 at 9, followed by a new ECW.
• History Channel has a new episode of The Universe at 9.
• At 10, FX has a new Rescue Me.
• A&E has a new episode of The Cleaner at 10.
  
• Food Network has a new Chopped at 10.
• Also at 10: Bravo has a new Flipping Out.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

Tonight is the series premiere of ABC's new celebrity reality competition whatever show, Shaq Vs. But if one guy gets his way, you won't see it.

Author Todd Gallagher says the idea for the show was stolen from his book Andy Roddick Beat Me With A Frying Pan. That's not an accusation of assault against the tennis star, the book was about Gallagher challenging people to sporting competitions if they gave him an advantage in some way. Roddick used a frying pan. I haven't read the book but I would love to see him play golf against Tiger Woods, with Woods having to use a giant ladle.

He says that William Morris Endeavor wanted to turn his book into a TV series last year but then went ahead and did it anyway, changing the name to Shaq Vs. Since the show airs in 30 minutes, I'd say he won't be able to stop it, at least this week.

• At 8, ABC has a new Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, followed by the series premiere of Shaq Vs and a new Primetime: Outsiders.
• FOX has a new Hell's Kitchen at 8, then a new More to Love.
• ESPN has two new episodes of The World Series of Poker starting at 8.
• Nickelodeon has a new Glenn Martin, DDS at 8.
• At 9, CBS has a new Big Brother.
• NBC has a new America's Got Talent at 9.
• PBS has a new Nova scienceNOW at 9.
• TNT has a new Hawthorne at 9, then the season finale of Saving Grace.
• History Channel has a new episode of The Universe at 9.
• There's a new Miami Social on Bravo at 9, followed by the season premiere of Flipping Out.
• Also at 9: Syfy has a new Warehouse 13, then a new ECW.
• At 9:30, Food Network has a new The Best Thing I Ever Ate.
• At 10, FX has a new Rescue Me.
• Discovery has a new episode of The Colony at 10.
• HBO has a new Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

This week on TV: Shaq throws down, chefs book a trip to Vegas and the return of 'Runway.'

MONDAY, AUG. 17

'Cake Boss' (10PM, TLC) 1st season finale
All good things must come to an end, so even though Hoboken baker Buddy Valasco and his cake-bakin' buddies have been a great addition to the primetime line-up this summer, the first season comes to an end tonight. It does go out with a bang – literally – as Buddy goes to his son's school for "Bring Your Dad to School Day" and then concocts a fireworks-themed cake.

'Woodstock: Now & Then' – Celebrating 40th anniversary (8PM, History Channel)
'Glenn Martin DDS' – Dentist Glenn takes his fam on a permanent vacay (8PM, Nick) series premiere
'Dance Your Ass Off' – There's a major twist during eliminations (10PM, Oxygen)
'Weeds' – Esteban's daughter arrives (10PM, Showtime)
'Nurse Jackie' – Victor Garber guest stars (10:30PM, Showtime)

I can't help but think of the old "Bo Knows" commercials, where professional baseball and football player Bo Jackson showed us that he could do literally anything. Now, it's the big man's turn. Shaquille O'Neal stars in Shaq Vs., where the basketball star shows his own diversity by taking on the likes of Michael Phelps and Albert Pujols.

The idea is that Shaq will take on the guest athlete's sport, meaning he'll swim laps with Phelps and go to bat against Pujols. The ABC series premieres Tuesday, August 18 at 9 PM, but there's no word as to how many episodes they're signed up for. If it's a huge hit, though, you have to think they're going to need to find more athletes and more challenges for Shaq.

Can he Trade powerslams with Randy Orton? Pump more steroids than Manny Ramirez? Make a better blacklight sex tape than Paris Hilton? Get more tabloid headlines than the Gosselins? The real challenge would be if Shaq starts taking on actors in their chosen field.