"You Don't Know Dick": First of all, I hope I never hear the phrase "Dick nugget" ever again. Secondly, Dick Cheney's lair is nothing but a pixelated mess in Google Earth. Maybe it's the sleep deprivation, but I laughed a little too hard at the "very low-resolution spider" joke. I want pixelation powers.

"Clusterfuck to the White House": A member of Rudy Giuliani's campaign team had some cocaine problems, so the cocaine problem guy had his "NAACP equals National Association of Retarded People" daddy take his place. Speaking of inhaling stuff, Former EPA Administrator Christie Todd Whitman says she's not responsible for allowing people to work among the Ground Zero asbestos. I really wish some of the big news networks would start using old news clips the way The Daily Show does. It's depressingly effective.