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(S09E15) "The last one remaining above their disco ball will be the new Head of House." - Julie Chen

That's right. Before we can even think about getting to the nominations, Big Brother 9 has to finish up the head of household endurance competition which started at the end of the live show on Wednesday night. We last left the houseguests suspended on tiny platforms over disco balls hanging by chains. Now, they should have been playing "Stayin' Alive" but they must not have paid for the song. So there was silence ... and Natalie's never-ending voice.

(S09E14) I just need to take a moment to say, "I called it!" I knew from the very beginning when Sheila, during the first HOH competition, sat on Adam's lap and rubbed her boobs in his face. I knew that she didn't hate him. And I knew that while he thought she was annoying, he kind of liked her too. Some of you even pointed this out in your comments. And now, my BB friends, we have the confirmation. Adam gave Sheila $10,000 during the PoV competition on Tuesday night.

The funny thing is...well, there's two funny things. First, Adam has no job (except he doesn't know that yet). So, 10K probably would have come in handy. Second, Ryan took away Sheila's money when he won the Power of Veto. Okay, now I'm done and I can do the recap.

(S09E13) Take a look at this face ladies and gentlemen, because it was the catalyst for all the madness that went down in the house tonight.

The funny thing is, she didn't plan any of it. She has no real strategy in this game. She doesn't think more than ten minutes into the future as far posturing goes. And she thinks there are 27 letters in the alphabet. Enough said. Natalie is playing this game with love goggles on and, for better or worse, her undying obsession with Mattie has caused the biggest commotion in the Big Brother 9 house all season and I'm elated.

(S09E12) "We can only come out of this stronger." - James

I think he meant "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." While Big Brother 9 probably won't be responsible for the physical deaths of any of the houseguests, it just might ruin whatever social lives they may have once had. I'm continually amazed by this group, usually not so much in a good way. I think I'm more amazed along the lines of Dumb and Dumber.

(S09E10) "I'm between a Josh and a hard place." - Allison

When I was young, there was a show called Peyton Place -- a soap opera which, at the time, seemed to be the epitome of all soap operas past, present, and future. It worked its way into the daily vocabulary for any sort of high drama situation.

Why am I talking about Peyton Place in an episode review of Big Brother 9? I mention it because it has dawned on me that Big Brother 9 is Peyton Place zapped to the present day while on meth filled with exaggerated whacko characters and all the drama you can stand (or not). Those Peyton Place people had it easy!

(S09E09) Will the soulmates inside the Big Brother 9 house find true love? In watching this group, the only couple with any real possibility of even speaking to each other after the season ends would be James and Chelsia. Leading into tonight's show the commercials first focused on romantic possibilities between Ryan and Allison. Over the past few days, the commercials switched to a Joshuah and Allison blow-up.

Tonight was the nominations episode. Who's on the block and what else happened? Read on past the jump!

(S09E07) Alex is pissed and rightfully so. He hasn't done a single thing that would cause the other house guests to put him up for eviction, but due to the fact that he's tied to Amanda, he finds himself up for eviction.

How fair is that? Not remotely fair if you ask me, and this is coming from a guy who thinks Alex is a bigger toolbag than you could find at your local Sears and Roebuck.

For the first time I'm starting to thing this whole "soulmates" thing is incredibly unfair. I kind of felt this way in the beginning when Sharon got the boot thanks to her idiot ex-beau Jacob, but I feel much stronger about it this week.

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(S09E04) It's another night in the Big Brother 9 house and the house is full of people in various states of unhappiness and discontent. Most prominently, Parker was extremely upset with Jen's antics so he decided to list out the "three steps of destruction by Jen."

A. She held the secret that her and Ryan were dating (then subsequently revealed it to the house).
B. She's cocky to a fault.
C. She's an idiot and he's the one who has to suffer because of her ignorance.

I can't really say that I disagree with any of his points. In fact, I'd probably add a few more items to the list.

(S09E03) Well, I didn't write up the reviewcap for the last episode, but I still find it mandatory to say that Jacob is an idiot. There's nothing worse than thinking your being cool and "stirring up the house" only to find that you're actually a moron and stirring yourself out of the house.I thought that Jacob and his "snake" fiasco was the stupidest thing a person has done thus far in the Big Brother 9 house.

I was wrong. The stupidest thing was actually done by Jen when she decided to let Parker know that she was dating Ryan. A review of tonight's Big Brother after the jump...

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