Like these six shows. They're not just unfunny, they're not pleasant or interesting or "cute" or any other word we try to use when trying to find something good about a sitcom either. They're just...bad. Not even someone who loves sitcoms could like these shows.
Well, luckily for Shout! Factory, it has decided to release 'Small Wonder: The Complete First Season' this week, where there is surprisingly little competition. Perhaps studios assume everyone will be busy watching the Olympics, but whatever the reason, 'Small Wonder' is the beneficiary of a relatively weak field of releases. Score one for the good guys.
Wow, 'Barnaby Jones!' I'll admit I watched all of the detective shows in the 70s: 'Barnaby Jones,' "Streets of San Francisco,' 'Cannon' (also released this week). It's hard to say if I'll actually buy the set, though I haven't seen the show in 20 years (it's probably not even on TV anymore, unless one of the mystery channels runs it), and I'm curious to see if I still like it or if I laugh at Buddy Ebsen as a private eye, drinking milk and putting clues in little plastic baggies.
- 'Barnaby Jones' - Season 1
- 'Bleach' - Season 4, Part 2 Uncut Box Set: The Bount
- 'Branded' - Complete Series
- 'Bugs Bunny' - Easter Funnies
The first full season of Small Wonder, the Troll 2 of 80's sitcoms, is coming to DVD this February. This television crapgasm is about an electronics expert father who tries to build a daughter for his family, but ends up creating the creepiest child star of all time. The clip below should explain the show for you, both the plot and the blindness it spread through televisions across America.
Of course, classically cheesy schmaltz like Dancing With The Stars and American Idol continues to thrive, keeping viewers fastened to their couches amid every note sung or dance move executed by someone in a fedora or boa, respectively.
I was reading Brad's post about bad superhero shows, and the site he linked to picked the Cathy Lee Crosby version of Wonder Woman, which I think is silly. It was much better than the Lynda Carter version and was smart enough to use an instrumental theme song, not one with lyrics. When you try to put lyrics to a superhero show theme song, the results are usually very bad.
Here are my choices for five horrible lyrics from TV theme songs. I'm not saying these are the worst. Maybe this could be a regular feature. There are so many to choose from, but these really stand out. (I did a similar post a couple of years ago, but it was strictly bizarre lyrics, not necessarily "bad" ones. The list needs to be updated, especially since I didn't include the number one choice.)
Lists are fun, aren't they? They put everything in perspective, they're easy to navigate, and they spark debate. But sometimes a list has entries in it that just make you scratch your head and wonder, do they really think that or are they just trying to be provocative?
The Chicago Tribune lists their picks for the 25 worst shows of all-time. Many of the usual suspects are here: Pink Lady and Jeff, BJ and the Bear, Manimal, and Small Wonder - but then they go completely off the rails and lists The 100 Lives of Blackjack Savage! If you don't remember this NBC show (it lasted 8 episodes in 1991), it was about a billionaire (Daniel Hugh-Kelly), accused of embezzlement, who escapes to an island, who gets involved with a ghost and has to save 100 lives. This was a really fun show and doesn't deserve to be on any "worst" list.
Okay, I admit, trolling Wikipedia for the latest breakdown of a 19-year-old movie franchise ain't exactly what Henry David Thoreau meant when he spoke about "sucking the marrow out of life", but there's at least one person in the world who has even less of a life than I do: the guy who wrote the friggin' article in the first place.
And you know what? Thank God for that guy...
The show's conceit involved a robotics firm engineer designing an AI cast-off from Annie to come live with his family. The robot was a "Voice Input Child Indenticant." VICI. Vicki. You get it. The Lawson family had quite a time trying to keep the monotoned Vicki's origins a secret from those pesky Brindles next door. They couldn't possibly destroy the adorable bundle of bolts that Dad had so lovingly (and sorta creepily if you think about it) put together and kept at home long past her beta-testing date.
They are programmed to serve man, but only if they aren't programmed to kill man. They clean our homes, pilot our spacecraft, and battle our aliens. Today we honor that metal pal of ours, the robot. Here' s a few of my faves from television, share a few of your own in the comments:
Crow T. Robot: This robot, like his fellow automatons on Mystery Science Theater 3000, was created by original host Joel Hodgson ("Joel Robinson" on the series) using random objects. Crow consisted of bowling pin, a soapdish, lamp parts, and a lacrosse mask. He also penned the lovely holiday ditty, "(Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas," which I personally like to sing every year, even if my family insists on "O Holy Night."
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