No surprise here, but Eliot Spitzer announced his resignation the old-school way, full of shame and next to his wife. If someone had tried to explain the Tainted Gov trailer to me, I probably would have rolled my eyes and muttered something rude, but actually watching was pretty funny. Maybe it's because a film with Eliot Spitzer, Method Man and Red would be the greatest thing in the universe. Maybe. Correspondent John Oliver stopped by to explain how Spitzer was upholding his promise to clean up the government by resigning.

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"Gubernatorial Malfeasance": As if to let the jokes really ripen, Jon and the gang left coverage of the Eliot Spitzer scandal for this night. Actually, maybe they just wanted the full effect of the media completely crapping themselves with joy, as demonstrated by Jon's Spitzer bib. Senior Legal Analyst Rob Riggle jumped in for what was, like, the shortest correspondent contribution ever, just to drop the joke that Spitzer's link to the prostitution ring was his penis. Come on.

As if to tease the fangirls, Jon briefly talked about his salt-and-pepper hair situation, the mention of which was probably prompted by a pre-show audience question. Yes, Jon, girls are dirty. Actually, now that I think about it... I spent most of Monday morning perusing the new ColbertPics.com site (note: they're calling for fans to upload their Stephen Colbert photos to help replace the former ultimate online collection of Colbert images, WonkyEar.com, RIP) on the hunt for a decent high-res photo of Colbert's greying temples. Don't ask why; just pretend it was for artistic research. I had neglected to mention my giddiness in seeing them in person in my Colbert Report taping report from February, but, man, that silver in sweet in person.

I may have said too much. Let's move on to a classier topic... like prostitutes.