Finally, we get to the point where we're starting to see the Top 12. Based on last night's performances, America chose the first three contestants to sail through. But first, we had the requisite judge's banter, promotional spots, and torturous "after the break" moments.

Oh, and the musical number with all 12 contestants dancing and singing "I'm Yours." I'm not a big fan of the choreographed group numbers. They're just so awkward and weird. But whatever.

Then Ryan chatted up the contestants. Anoop Desai said that everyone was fairly relaxed, but then Ryan got all creepy on him and pressed Anoop into saying, "This is the most nervous I've ever been." Way to ratchet up the stress level, Ryan.

Finally! It's time for the live show. It's Kara's very first one. How will she stack up? Will she be nicer than Simon? More coherent than Paula? Dawgier than Randy? And what of the contestants? I've got five bucks that says there's going to be at least one train wreck tonight; who's it gonna be? Let's settle in because we've got two hours of American Idol.

Of course we start off with weirdness, as Simon finishes his "sing well" spiel, pauses, waggles his eyebrows at Ryan suggestively, and tells him he likes his new hair. Seacrest tries to play it off, but even through his layers of pancake makeup, you can tell he's blushing. Dave and Maddie, Ross and Rachel, Jim and Pam, and Ryan and Simon. This is the tension that makes television worth watching.