When I posted about George Carlin's death early Monday morning, I made a couple of mistakes, mainly due to a combination of shock and tiredness:

1) I said that Carlin "passed away." Anyone who's listened to Carlin's comedy knows that he hated euphemisms like "he passed away." So, let me correct things right now: George didn't pass away or leave this earth. He died.

2) I really didn't convey how ingenious his comedy was. His observations of even the smallest of human foibles and his examinations of how we use the English language were always among the funniest routines he would do, even funnier than the ones about politics or religion or anything else that happened to chap his ass that year.

I knew about Carlin mostly through his albums, because I didn't have HBO (Occupation: Foole was the first Carlin album I ever heard, and I still think it's the best). But, thanks to HBO and YouTube, I can give you -- in no particular order -- my five favorite Carlin routines ... well, at least the ones that aired on TV:

Funny little article on Stuff magazine's website; they list the five wimpiest men on TV. Yes, I said "wimpiest," a term that people probably haven't heard since their local Morning Zoo made fun of the competing radio station or Hefty last advertised its tough garbage bags. But it's an apt word to describe the fellas on this list; Mikey from American Chopper is the most manly of the five (he beat out Butters from South Park by a nose), and that's only because he hangs out in a bike shop all day.

Of course, if you're going to limit yourself to five wimps and include both Ryan Seacrest and Carson Daly, then you're not thinking hard enough. Both those guys are already in the Metrosexual Hall of Fame, so to consider them among the nominees yet again seems to be redundant to me. Where is Kirk from Gilmore Girls? Dr. Chase from House? J.D. from Scrubs? George O'Malley from Grey's Anatomy (hmm ... I sense a trend)? If you're going to mention a cartoon character, then other fictional wimps shouldn't be off-limits. Can you folks name more TV wimps? Let me know in the comments.

[via Netscape]

(S02E16) You know, I always wondered how Robin Scherbatsky, a highly attractive and seemingly well-adjusted single woman in the city, managed to collect five dogs. As a single guy, when I discover that a single woman has more than three pets, I tend to "head for ze hills," as the saying goes. Why? Because it shows me that, while the woman is caring and nurturing, she's a bit too caring and nurturing. Does the phrase "substitute children" mean anything to you?

But now we know why Robin has all those dogs, and it makes perfect sense to me. Let's face facts, people: Robin is every guy's fantasy girlfriend, and if I were dating her, I'd probably want to give her a dog, too, and I don't even have any pets.