Note: This post contains a major spoiler for the CBS soap opera Guiding Light. If you don't want to know what happens later this week, don't read any further, don't scroll down, etc, etc. This is your last warning!

So I'm watching the last half of today's GL, and Tammy is run over by someone (I think it was meant for Jonathan, someone hired by Alan, but I'm not sure because I've missed several recent episodes). She's lying in the hospital bed, Rick says she's in a coma and has brain swelling, everyone is waiting around to see what happens, and a moody song plays on the soundtrack.

And then at the end of the show, a commercial for the new issue of Soap Opera Digest comes on...

Update: was it Soap Opera Weekly? Hmmm....

Update on the Update: It was actually Soaps In Depth.

And, we're back.

(S05E09) After a lovely respite last week, The Apprentice has returned to Monday nights to torture entice us with the confusion and the back-stabbing that is the corporate world. Just to review, Synergy has gone on a four-week rout against Gold Rush. In the two episodes before the break, Lenny and Leslie were let go from Gold Rush, and now the rest of the team members are ready for a bit of revenge.

Do they get their revenge? Will your favorite person be fired next? Is that real hair on Donald Trump's head? Am I asking too many questions?

All that, and more, will be answered as you click ahead to the toxic waste dump known as The Apprentice.