"The Long Flat Seemingly Endless Bataan Death March to the White House": For a little while, Barack Obama looked like he was well on his way to locking the Democratic nomination. Then, West Virginia happened and Hillary Clinton totally crushed Obama in the state's primary. It may have had something to do with her hard work, her working class base, or because a lot of West Virginians are xenophobic. It's Obama's own fault for being a super-secret Muslim. In other news, the "I don't like the 'Hussein' thing" lady hurt my soul.