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October 24, 2014

the colbert report

Colbert Sexually Harasses His Intern to Help Raise Money for His Super PAC (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Nov 4th 2011 5:00AM
'The Colbert Report'Herman Cain's campaign continues to be rocked by sexual harassment allegations, with a third woman now coming forward. And yet, as discussed on 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central), these allegations are having absolutely no impact on Cain's ability to raise money.

This gave Stephen Colbert a brilliant idea to help him raise even more money for Colbert Super PAC. He trotted out Jay the Intern and, to protect his anonymity, had him put on a leather fetish mask. Then, as Colbert started to feed him strawberries through the zippered hole -- all of which seems pretty normal to us -- a 'Technical Difficulties' graphic went up.

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Colbert Worried With Herman Cain About China Developing Nukes (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Nov 3rd 2011 5:15AM
'The Colbert Report'Herman Cain continues to say things that prove he has a limited understanding of foreign politics. He does admit his shortcoming and says he's been boning up, but he'd better hold off on answering questions until he does, based on a clip played on 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central).

"I do view China as a potential military threat," Cain said in the clip. "They've indicated that they're trying to develop nuclear capability."

This immediately terrified Stephen Colbert, especially since they developed nukes in 1964.

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Colbert on Cain's Sexual Harassment Allegations: 'Who Hasn't Been Accused?' (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Nov 2nd 2011 4:30AM
Stephen Colbert, 'The Colbert Report'Stephen Colbert was determined to side with Herman Cain on these allegations of sexual harassment from years ago. On 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central), he showed how easy it is to misconstrue innocuous gestures as sexual harassment.

And quite frankly, who hasn't been accused of sexual harassment at one point or another in their lives, he argued. He played a clip of Cain being asked if he'd ever been accused of sexual harassment, and Cain responded by turning the question around on the reporter.

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Stephen Colbert Laments the Lack of 'Sexy' Halloween Costumes for Men (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Nov 1st 2011 6:15AM
Stephen Colbert, 'The Colbert Report'When you were out shopping for your Halloween costume this year, did you notice how many "sexy" costumes there are these days for women? It's getting to the point where a woman who doesn't want to wear a revealing costume is going to have a hard time finding something to wear, and Stephen Colbert has had quite enough of it on 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central).

"We guys would love to get slutty," he said. With all that female skin showing, costumes for men seem to be going in the exact opposite direction. But why not allow men the same freedom to feel sexy and look great right next to the women? Colbert even had a few suggestions for us, and we certainly hope "Sexy Pundit" is on the shelves by next Halloween.

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Toby Keith and Stephen Colbert Sing 'The Star-Spangled Banner' (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Oct 28th 2011 5:45AM
Toby Keith, 'The Colbert Report'Toby Keith performed his new single, 'Made in America' on 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central). But he didn't stop there. Despite his assessment that America is basically falling apart and that there is no solution, Keith is still a patriot.

For that, Stephen Colbert considers himself blood brothers with Keith. And as two patriotic citizens and brothers, they joined forces to sing 'The Star-Spangled Banner.' And while you might expect Keith to take the bass part, that went to Colbert, who gave an almost monotone delivery.

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Colbert Can't Figure Out How to Use the New 'Steve Jobs' Biography (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Oct 26th 2011 4:00AM
'Steve Jobs' biography - 'The Colbert Report'Fans of 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central) know that Stephen Colbert is always first in line -- or begging desperately to get early editions -- for any new Apple product. So of course he was going to snag the new 'Steve Jobs' biography by Walter Isaacson.

The only problem was that the book itself proved a disappointment for him. He treated it like any other handheld Apple device, but it simply wouldn't play along. "You turn it upside down, it doesn't even reorient," he lamented, holding the book upside down.

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Jon Huntsman Asks Stephen Colbert in Mandarin to Be His Running Mate (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Oct 25th 2011 4:00AM
Gov. Jon Huntsman, 'The Colbert Report'Looking for that coveted Colbert bump to boost his current two percent standings in the Republican field, Gov. Jon Huntsman went on 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central). There, he fielded questions about Mormonism being referred to as a cult -- he equated it to Catholocism being called a cult when JFK was running -- and why he doesn't just run as a Democrat.

When Stephen Colbert asked him to say the most "non-scary thing" Huntsman could think of in Mandaran -- he's fluent in the language -- he did. But Colbert still responded with, "Terrifying."

When he asked what Huntsman had said, he replied, "I just said I think that you oughta consider being my running mate for vice president." That is terrifying. Imagine, a fictional character one heartbeat away from the presidency.

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Colbert Admits to Mixed Feelings About the Death of Muammar Gaddafi (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Oct 21st 2011 4:15AM
'The Colbert Report'While the people of Libya were celebrating the death of their former dictator Muammar Gaddafi, Stephen Colbert admitted to having mixed feelings about it on 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central).

"Guy was one of a kind," he said. "Part madman, part fashion icon, part comic genius. He made us laugh. He made us cry ... about the things that made him laugh."

Colbert added, "It's like losing Yves Saint Laurent, George Burns and Pol Pot all on the same day."

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Colbert Suggests Waterboarding Dick Cheney to Get to the Truth (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Oct 20th 2011 3:15AM
'The Colbert Report'Argued as the one man who might have been able to prevent the 9/11 attacks had the CIA been willing to share information, Ali Soufan resigned from the FBI in 2005 over this issue. Now he's written his memoir, 'The Black Banners: The Inside Story of 9/11 and the War Against al-Qaeda.' He talked on 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central) about his successes as an interrogator, and which techniques do and don't work.

Accordin to Soufan, who gathered a lot of information through his methods, waterboarding and other enhanced interrogation techniques simply don't work as effectively as outsmarting terrorists with intelligence manipulation.

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Stephen Colbert on Everyone Talking About Herman Cain's 9-9-9 Plan (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Oct 19th 2011 4:30AM
'The Colbert Report'With Herman Cain the current frontrunner among the bevy of Republican presidential candidates, Stephen Colbert is almost kind of sort of ready to officially get behind him on 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central).

Sure, Cain seems to be waffling over whether or not we need an electric fence as our border between the US and Mexico, but his 9-9-9 economic plan is sweeping the nation. It's on everyone's tongues, and Colbert ran a quick clip of just how many people are saying it.

The clip ended with Adolf Hitler shouting "Nein! Nein! Nein!" While Colbert saw this as an indication that Cain thought Hitler had some good ideas, the translation would seem to indicate being against the plan completely!

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Harry Belafonte Sings a Duet With Stephen Colbert on 'The Colbert Report' (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Oct 18th 2011 4:30AM
Harry Belafonte, 'The Colbert Report'Harry Belafonte rarely sings in public anymore. But he made an exception for 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central). It really shouldn't have come as that big of a surprise to Colbert, considering the reception he got from Belafonte.

The 'King of Calypso' seemed more honored and excited to be meeting Stephen Colbert and sitting in on his show than Colbert was to have him there. So when Colbert asked him if he would sing, the two broke into an impromptu duet.

The 84-year old's voice may be raspier than it was, but he proved he's still the King, while Colbert was clearly enthralled at being able to sing with a living legend. It was a sweet moment, apparently for both men.

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Stephen Responds to Email He Received from Steve Jobs on 'The Colbert Report' (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Oct 7th 2011 4:15AM
'The Colbert Report'The audience wasn't really with Stephen Colbert all the way through his discussion about the passing of Steve Jobs on 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central). He reminisced about his experiences and obsessions with various Apple productions, including when he read a list of nominees from his iPad at the Grammys.

He said that he considered Jobs a close friend, because he got a reply from him after that bit simply saying, "Sweet! Thanks!"

When Colbert said then that he was going to reply to this email, you could hear a hesitant groan building in the audience, concerned that it may be too soon for whatever joke was coming.

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'Sandra' Palin Gives Her Thoughts on GOP Candidate 'Herb' Cain (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Oct 6th 2011 4:30AM
'The Colbert Report'There's no such thing as a wrong opinion, but it's still important to gather as many facts as you can about the topic you're discussing before you go into it on a news program, or at the very least get their name right. Sarah Palin clearly missed that step in the process on a clip shown on 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central).

In talking about GOP candidate Herman Cain, who shot to the top in a tie with Mitt Romney in the latest polls, she kept referring to him as 'Herb' Cain. "Herb Cain," she said. "He came from a working class family."

"Yes, Herb Cain is from a working class family," Colbert agreed. "I wonder where Herman Cain comes from? Someone should really ask Sandra Palin."

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Colbert Wasn't 'Ready For Some Football' Without Hank Williams Jr. (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Oct 5th 2011 4:15AM
'The Colbert Report'Apparently, Hank Williams Jr.'s weekly contribution to 'Monday Night Football' was more important than we ever realized. Stephen Colbert detailed just how lost he was when ESPN opted not to use it as the intro this week on 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11:30PM ET on Comedy Central).

The decision came after Williams made controversial statements on the 'Fox & Friends' show equating President Obama to Adolf Hitler. But with so little warning, the absence of Williams' song left Colbert in fact "dangerously unprepared for some football."

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Colbert on What the Government Can and Can't Force You to Do (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Oct 4th 2011 3:45AM
'The Colbert Report'After hearing the Republican denouncement of President Obama's healthcare plan, stating that the government shouldn't be able to tell people what to buy or what to do, Stephen Colbert was ready to jump on the bandwagon on 'The Colbert Report' (Weeknights, 11PM ET on Comedy Central).

So he laid it out for us straight by listing the things the government can force its citizenry do, and not be a dictatorship.

"It can only tax you, draft you, sieze and sell your property, arrest you, incarcerate you and execute you," he explained. It can do those things and still be a democracy, but if it forces you to get insurance, it's crossed the line. "Only a gecko can do that," he concluded.

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