the golden girls

Veterans of early TV are scarce these days, most being retired or, well, really retired. But after 61 years in the business, the legendary Betty White is enjoying her third or fourth career resurgence -- and told AOL TV she's thrilled to be receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award from Sandra Bullock at the SAG Awards on Jan. 23.

After doing radio and summer stock back in the 1940s, White's big break came as the "telephone girl" on a live, local Los Angeles show, 'Hollywood on Television,' hosted by popular DJ Al Jarvis. With all honors to Lucille Ball and 'I Love Lucy,' that gig led to the creation of one of the first female-driven sitcoms, 'Life with Elizabeth.' The TV skies were the limit from there.

Estelle Getty, the matriarch of The Golden Girls and general wise-ass of the bunch passed away last year. Now, her family has put the Emmy she won for her role of Sophia Petrillo in that show up for sale on eBay. The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences have strict rules about such things. If the family no longer wants the award, they are supposed to return it to the Academy.

Ms. Getty's family would hardly be the first to try and raid the treasures of a dead celebrity relative for some cash. It does seem in somewhat bad taste to sell such an honor.

On the other hand, the item hasn't even received any bids yet according to the Variety article (although that may have changed given the increase in publicity). Is it a bigger insult to sell an Emmy or that the Emmy in question hasn't received any interest from the buying public?

If you're like me, then you're probably a mom. Although, I don't have children. In fact, I'm a quarter-century old dude built like an extra from a 1960's beach movie (that's not necessarily a compliment, especially if you think "compact" is a terrible description of body type, as I often do). However, when I'm at the gym, I seem to get along like gangbusters with all the mothers who take to the Stepper for a mindless lower-body workout in which one essentially climbs to nowhere.

In fact, every now and then, you'll catch me on the machine upwards of an hour, which is by no means an easy task when you have the attention span I do. But luckily, I've got plenty of friends to keep me going, and I don't even have to talk to them. Because they're inside the TV! (Sorry, moms!)

Zachary Johnson and Jeffrey Max are two effed up dudes.

Before they hit the "viralsphere" with Lasagna Cat, the production team and creative geniuses behind Fatal Farm created an incredibly twisted, brilliantly subversive, and unarguably hilarious series of "alternative intros" parodying the openings to classic sitcoms. No two intros follow the same theme or formula, except to say that they're all unequivocally... Messed. Up.

From blood and guts to go-carts and the hinting of pedophilia, each parody brings with it an innate ability to eviscerate any leftover nostalgia from the sight of, say, the Happy Days jukebox or the beginning chords of the theme to Cheers. (Believe us, you'll never think of Rhea Perlman the same way again.)

Strap in, sit back, and take an incredibly disturbing trip down Memory Lane, courtesy of your friendly tour guides at Fatal Farm:

AOL has chosen the best TV shows of the 1980s, and it's not a bad list. But I'm sure everyone reading this will have their own thoughts.

Sure, there are shows that were my favorites I'd like to see on the list, but those would be personal choices. The only problem I have is where the shows place on the list. For example, is Fraggle Rock really a better show than Spenser: For Hire, Miami Vice, and Kate and Allie (even beyond the fact that it might be an odd show to compare to the other shows in the first place)? Is Facts of Life better than MacGyver?

It may have been the Me Decade.

But in TV land, the sisters were doin' it for themselves and finally getting respect as cops, war nurses and working moms; iconic shows like 'Hill Street Blues,' 'St. Elsewhere' and 'L.A. Law' would forever change (for the better) cop, medical and legal dramas; and no idea was too high concept to fill a primetime spot (time-travelling physicist? check; housewife-turned-CIA op? check; New York City beauty in love with a subterranean monster? check).

The bottom line: They all add up to 10 years of fine channel surfing -- and our awesome list of the 40 best series of the 1980s.

Some say the most important job in the world is that of a teacher. And, really, we've all been placed under the tutelage of someone who was literally paid to provide education. But yet, so often, kids find themselves inspired by - and often in worship of - these individuals, young and old alike, who can play an integral role in shaping one's childhood and, some might argue, the rest of their lives.

Of course, that isn't always the case. Teachers can also be awful monsters whom we never forget for their ability to patronize, degrade, or humiliate us, often leaving one wondering if the man or woman in question took the job merely to torture students. This, naturally, can lead a kid to fantasize about how cool it would be to fall under the instruction of one of the following actors who, despite likely not possessing any type of teaching certification in real life, would probably be a blast to spend 40-or-so minutes on a daily basis.

Battlestar Galactica is premiering! Did you know that? BSG is starting again. Ten eps left. Best show ever. Can. Not. Wait. Especially because we need to know the identity of the final Cylon!

Look, we're so crazy excited for the season premiere that the only thing we could do to keep ourselves from going a'spoiler-hunting was to create a wishlist. Below are six characters from other shows throughout history whom we imagine share the same genetics as those frakkin' Toasters.

You mean Bea Arthur wasn't already in the TV Academy Hall of Fame before today? Well, actually, that was Bea's choice. In a very Maude-like way, she had turned them down. "I said, `So sorry, very nice of you, but I can't possibly accept. There are so many talented people in the business,'" Arthur recalled.

However, she's had a chance to think it over and when asked again, she agreed to become a Hall of Famer, just like Lucille Ball, Johnny Carson and Bill Cosby.

As I wrote previously, the TV Academy Hall of Fame will expand to include Bea Arthur, Merv Griffin, Larry Gelbart (M*A*S*H), Sherwood Schwartz (Gilligan's Island, The Brady Bunch), and ABC executives Thomas Murphy and Daniel B. Burke. On December 9 in Beverly Hills, the awards will be presented.

The buttoned down mind of Bob Newhart is coming back to TV. In August, Hallmark Channel will present Newhart in Herb's Murders, a two-hour original TV movie. And that's not all. Hallmark, which yesterday announced Jane Seymour in a detective movie called Dear Prudence, has other old TV favorites slated for original telefilms.

There's former 7th Heaven star Stephen Collins will star in The Ride of Her Life; Jacqueline Bisset has a holiday pic in the works called Thanksgiving Reunion, which will air in November; and Pam Grier, Florence Henderson (The Brady Bunch) and Donna Mills (Knots Landings) will headline Ladies of the House, about three women from the same church who team up on a home renovation project.

Betty White, the actress best known for her roles in The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Golden Girls, and for being confused with the little old lady who raps in The Wedding Singer was honored yesterday by the Los Angeles Zoo. White, who has served on numerous zoo association and foundation boards, will have a plaque hung in her honor next to the L.A. zoo's gorilla exhibit.

Her new official title is "Ambassador to the Animals,' but I'd like to see what the precise job description of that position is... sounds like fun. The ceremony was attended by numerous dignitaries including the mayor of Los Angeles. White is currently in her eighth year as a zoo commissioner and plans to continue to "love the animals."