['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'Contract Player']

Shereé declared she's on her way to "film." Kim decided that burning fat means eating pizza and wings while little red boomerangs of light spin around her body. NeNe and Peter kissed and made up. Dwight visited Phaedra to see the baby and stir the pot. None of these things were surprising.

Cynthia's friendship contract? Seems like a joke with good intentions that went horribly astray. Maybe it was all in the too-serious presentation. She should stick with the candle next time. Is she too fixated on NeNe, as Shereé and Kim said, or just trying to be considerate?

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'Auto-tuned-up']

"I know a lot of actors and actresses probably start out working for free, but I'm a grown-ass woman with some grown-ass bills over here." -- Shereé

Phaedra's kid knew how to steal the show: Poop all over it. What did they expect, anyway, with all that pristine white and a diaperless baby that can't control its bodily functions? What baby can? And why would he care? He's probably pooped on something from the Oprah crocheter, too.

At least before the excrement incident, Phaedra appeared rather happy. Is that because Apollo had assumed all baby duties from Ayden's birth? The sleeping picture was adorable. By the way, has anyone else noticed how she keeps upping the ante on the eyeshadow each episode?

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'NeNe Get Your Gun']

No wonder they called this one "super-sized." Besides an extra few minutes, we got plenty of closure: Divorce, saying good-bye to the non-doctor. And beginnings: New Kim-and-Kandi song, new job for NeNe, and welcome to the little fiery ball of beautiful, Ayden Adonis.

"Mr. Luscious?" What the hell? Can we have Dwight back in the fur pants? That'd be a little less disturbing.

Poor NeNe ... everything non-work-related hit the fan on her first day at work. And, as she saw, as a new TV reporter, it suddenly became work-related.

While Phaedra Parks is recovering from her C-section, the rest of the 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' (Sun., 10PM ET on BRAVO) ladies join Kandi Burruss to discuss relationships on her "Kandi Koated Nights" webcast.

Really, the hostess wants to talk "freak numbers," asking them to rate their sexuality on a scale of one to 10. She then brings in a stripper -- "Mr. Luscious" -- to test their scores.

The "entertainer" grabs Sheree and begins gyrating against her, despite her repeatedly shouting "No!" and looking horrified. Mr. Luscious strips down completely, and Nene Leakes aptly sums up the experience by saying, "Girl, I need therapy after that!"

On 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' (Sun., 10PM ET on BRAVO), Phaedra is very pregnant but doesn't know her due date. She's been going to a shady doctor and has "just not kept up with stuff like that," she tells Kandi.

Maybe the real reason she doesn't know (or won't admit) something so basic is related to her mother, sitting nearby. Phaedra says, "In my family, you can't have [a baby] unless you married." Her mother nods: "That's momma's rules."

A legit doctor comes in and announces that she's 40 weeks along, i.e., ready to pop. "The doctors I was seeing, well, they just have different theories than you," Phaedra tells him. "This is not a theory," he says. Nor is this something that can be delayed or denied any longer.

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'Is There a Doctor in the House?']

"Oh, gross." -- Phaedra, seeing her baby for the first time.

Phaedra is actually pretty funny. She didn't sugarcoat anything about giving birth. She also never had any romantic expectations about the experience.

Somehow it seemed reasonable to assume that Apollo would have to gift ATL's lawyer to the fallen stars countless fancy bags, extra mani-pedis, a few more ballet performances and truckloads of roses from Publix before she would consent to having another baby.

On 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' (Sun., 10PM ET on BRVO), Cynthia returns home to find several friends in her living room, all ready to toast a special event. What's the occasion? Surprise! Her boyfriend Peter gets down on one knee. "I gotta go put lashes on -- it can't happen like this!" says Cynthia.

After a somewhat awkward proposal, Peter places a massive engagement ring on the wrong hand. Cynthia seems more shocked than elated.

NeNe says, "It was strange -- can we get some emotion going? ... I was just expecting more." It wasn't what Cynthia expected either, saying she'd always thought his proposal would be a more private moment.

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'She Can Dance?']

Shereé is an actress? Well, acting seemed to be the only explanation for her descent from expecting to easily trump her dance competition, to a foreboding "I am scared." That Aston Martin scene was a pretty cushy opener, though. And I don't think "downsizing" and "Aston Martin" could be reasonably used in the same conversation unless she had said, "I didn't buy that Aston Martin because I'm downsizing."

What was that thing Kim said about working a fast food joint if it meant she could provide for her kids? It doesn't look like she has to go there, yet. Ariana has a $60,000 new "big-girl" room (where the New York wives conveniently played on the TV) and Brielle gets to luxuriate in a 2,000 sq ft (??) apartment. Kim's office, decked with gold leaf and Kim, was just plain great. I liked her explanation even better (see Quotables below).

Now that the 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' has made the move to Sundays (10PM ET on Bravo), the work week is a little less crazy, boo.

So we decided to ease the Monday blues by combining two things we love on Twitter: tweets from NeNe, Sheree, Kim and Phaedra, and the hysterical vocal stylings of Kevyn Smith and Jeremy Johnson, the guys behind We Sing Your Tweets, a.k.a. "sweets."

Kevyn and Jeremy have made some epic celebrity tweets even sweet-er by singing them, turning random 140-character thoughts into true emotional performances ... and getting tons of attention on Twitter for it. So we asked them to do some AOL TV exclusive sweets of some of the 'RHOA''s most ridiculous tweets. Watch, enjoy and follow them on Twitter or visit their blog for more.

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'Trashed Collection']

Is it possible to already be sick of "The Ring Didn't Mean a Thing?" I'm sorry, Kandi. Love you, really. It's only because of that atonal Kim version that sticks in the head just so ...

As if Kim's voice weren't enough of an insult, during her aside to the camera on last night's 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' she acted jealous of Lawrence, intimating he wouldn't be marketable. C'mon, Zolciak. Kandi wants to focus on her Kandi-Koated "entertainment empire," so why would you (candy!) rain on her parade? It's not like Kim jump-started Kandi's career: the lady's a veteran songwriter, performer and fully functioning solo artist. Besides, even if Kim may have had a point about "The Ring," that "closet freak" song sounded pretty good. Kandi rolls poppy joints off her tongue faster than Phaedra can recite a line from her résumé.

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'Hot Mama's Day']

Well, NeNe definitely bounced back after her surgery on last night's 'Real Housewives of Atlanta,' even if her marriage didn't. "Booojshh, boojsssh-boojsshh boojsh."

What a shame for Peter to have poked a hole in her happy bubble. It really wasn't his place to throw stones. Besides, Phaedra was the one who hurled that generalization about men that come with children and attached mothers.

Did NeNe really say anything to provoke such a dig? Maybe there was something we didn't see that she said first. (Was he mad that she even brought up the topic of cheating for debate? If so, that's shady.) If not, boo to him.

Cynthia "planning" for her wedding without a proposal on the record might not exactly bode well for her would-be engagement to Peter. Either that or she was trying to overcompensate for her tendency -- as her sister previously revealed -- to back out after the ring gets put on the finger. Despite mentions of a ring being crafted, she didn't have one yet, did she?

On 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' (Mon., 9PM ET on BRAVO), some very candied candid sex talk -- in front of a Housewife's mother, no less -- makes NeNe Leakes extremely uncomfortable.

Kandi Burruss admits that she and her mother Joyce "talk about dildos ... Honestly, I was supposed to give you one for Mother's Day," she tells Joyce. NeNe says, "The thought of my mom using a dildo ... Honey, I need to go to the psychiatric ward."

But it gets much worse. Conversation topics include combining oral sex with Pop Rocks candy and putting powdered sugar in one's "vajayjay."

When revisiting the subjects later, NeNe gets nauseous. Covering her mouth, she says, "Oh, I almost gagged just then."

['The Real Housewives of Atlanta' - 'Petty Boughetto']

Awkkkwarddd. Even after Cynthia's would-be fiancé Peter made it known to Phaedra and Dwight that he has five children, Phaedra continued to push her point about feeling glad she found a "clean" man with no kids or any such "baggage."

The "equestrian" of the group also proved she has more than a little Teresa Giudice-like propensity for going big and bizarre. For Teresa it meant Marie Antoinette serving sushi at her daughter's christening. For Phaedra, it meant a baby shower ballet interlude and choreographed dance with Dwight, who is not the father of her baby. Though if the teaser for next week is any indication, we've been told to not be so sure Apollo is, either.

Come Nov. 7, NeNe Leakes will be facing off against Nora Walker. That's right, Bravo is moving its reality series 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' to Sundays at 10PM, putting it in competition with the likes of 'Brothers & Sisters,' 'CSI: Miami' and football.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, this move comes as part of Bravo's planned programming strategy. "We want to start the week earlier," Frances Berwick, president of Bravo, told the Hollywood Reporter. "This means each night is a promotional platform for the next night and it becomes like a domino effect that strengthens our schedule."

Following 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' at 11PM will be a new edition of the late night talk show, 'Watch What Happens Live,' hosted by Andy Cohen.

How to dress up like Kim Zolciak from 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' for Halloween

The Costume: The busty blonde of 'Tardy for the Party' and 'Google Me' infamy. If you've ever wanted to wear a devastating wig -- this is your chance.

What You'll Need: As young as this new season is, Zolciak is already drawing weirded-out looks and damning criticism for her beloved wigs. Whether tousled or poufed out, you need a tired, long blond wig that's less Lady Godiva than waves-gone-wrong.