the simple life

First they paid $2.5 million for a sit-down with Prince William and Prince Harry (not to them but to a charity), and now The New York Post is reporting that NBC is going to pay $1 million to Paris Hilton for her first interview when she gets out of jail (not to a charity, to her).

In a funny twist, former View co-hosts Barbara Walters and Meredith Vieira were trying to get the interview. Walter's almost got it until Jeff Zucker called Paris' dad. Vieira will conduct the interview (Hilton doesn't like Matt Lauer, supposedly) the day after Hilton is released from jail.

Vieira will probably do the interview for The Today Show, but NBC will also put some of it on Dateline, some on MSNBC, some on the web. So you won't be able to escape it.

• At 7, CBS has a new 60 Minutes.
• NBC has a new, two-hour Dateline at 7.
• CNN has a debate between all the Democrati candidates for President at 7.
• At 8, The CW repeats the pilot episode of Hidden Palms.
• Lifetime has the new movie Write & Wrong, with Kirstie Alley at 8, followed by the series premiere of Army Wives.
• MTV has the (live) MTV Movie Awards at 8 (repeated at 10).
• At 9, PBS has a new Mystery!
• There's a new Gene Simmons' Family Jewels on A&E at 9.
• HBO has a new Sopranos at 9, then the season finale of Entourage.
• Also at 9: Food Network has two new episodes of The Next Food Network Star.
• At 10, MSNBC repeats this morning's Meet The Press, if you missed it.
• HGTV has a new Bought & Sold at 10, then a new My First Place.
• E! has a new Simple Life Goes To Camp at 10, followed by a new Sunset Tan.
• Showtime has a new ep of The Tudors at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

• At 8, ABC has a new Wife Swap, followed by the debut of The Ex-Wives Club and a new Supernanny.
• FOX has a new, two-hour On The Lot at 8.
• NBC has a new Real Wedding Crashers at 8, then the Miss Universe Pageant.
• Four good Friends repeats on TBS starting at 8.
• TLC has two new episodes of Little People, Big World, then a new Big Medicine.
• At 9 on CNN, Larry King interviews journalist Kimberly Dozier.
• There's a new Monday Night RAW on USA at 9.
• Lifetime has the new movie My Name Is Sarah at 9.
• Also at 9: Food Network has a new Challenge, then a new Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.
• At 10, FX has a new episode of The Riches.
• Discovery has a new Stunt Junkies at 10.
• E! has the season premiere of The Simple Life at 10, then the premiere of Sunset Tan.

Check your local TV listings for more.

...tonight, on a very special episode of The Simple Life.

OK, maybe they won't make it part of the show, though I wouldn't be surprised if they did. Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating her probation, and being a moron. Well, not that last part, but definitely for violating her probation. She is going to have to show up to jail on June 5, and the judge is not going to let her do a furlough or wear a monitoring bracelet or any other easy way out. Doesn't sound too "hot."

Now comes the part where all of you unleash your comments below and let us know if this is a good thing or not, and make jokes about what jail will be like for Paris Hilton. The jail she's going to is the same place that held O.J. Simpson, and their main meal is usually chicken.

I have an idea for a new reality show. It's called Lemonade Stand, and it will be a behind the scenes look at what really goes on in the cutthroat world of lemonade stands in small town America. You'll see the infighting that happens when one kid forgets to bring enough cups for the customers, you'll see what happens when a dollar seems to be missing from the money box, and you'll see the emotional toll the business takes on the kids when their mom says it's time to close up because it's getting dark out.

Sound far-fetched? Not really. E! has a new reality show starting May 28 called Sunset Tan, which will show what happens to people who work at a tanning salon. Gah.

I'm thinking there will be a lot of opportunities to show blondes in bikinis. The show debuts after the season premiere of The Simple Life at 10pm.

Hey, Brigitte here with TV Squad Daily. I'll be covering the TV stories I find interesting each day, Monday through Friday, in this video blog.

Today on TV Squad Daily:

• Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are soon to be "fat camp" counselors in the new season of The Simple Life.
  
• It's time to choose a new Miss USA, but not before wallowing in Tara Connor's guilt one last time.
  
• So much responsibility! The writers at Days of Our Lives are letting you choose Sami's wedding presents.
  

The video's embedded below, or you can download the file directly (Quicktime required). You can also subscribe to this podcast via our feed.

Well, OK, I'm a day behind with this. I blame Christmas and lots of food and booze. Looks like it's not a big week for DVD releases anyway:

• Airwolf - Season 2
• Davey and Goliath: The Lost Episodes
• Girls Behaving Badly - Vol. 1
• New Adventures of He-Man - Vol. 1
• Simple Life 4
• Tourgasm

Are headlines like that even surprising anymore?

The Simple Life's (emphasis on SIMPLE) Nicole Richie was arrested early this morning in Burbank, CA for going the wrong way on the 134 freeway. Witnesses called the police, and when police got to her car, she admitted she had taken Vicodin and smoked pot. But she wasn't drunk on booze, thank heavens, which means she's being responsible.

Two interesting aspects to this story: one, the police have told TMZ.com that they aren't going to release Richie's mug shot, which means it can't be added to the Hall of Fame. And two, the police report lists her height as 5 feet 1 inches and her weight as 85 pounds. Which basically means she weights nothing, and when she turns sideways she vanishes completely. She should join Heroes!

Update: the TMZ.com story has been updated with Richie's booking photo.

Every year around this time, the year-in-review and best and worst articles start showing up in newspapers and magazines and blogs, and so do the predictions for the following year. Here are my predictions for 2007 concerning TV personalities and shows.

1. Rachael Ray, in the middle of pouring EVOO in a skillet for the 11,000th time, will suddenly scream "fuck this!", throw the bottle against the wall, walk over to her elevator, say "I'm sick of all the shows and the books and the appearances...so long suckers!" and get into the elevator and disappear.

Paris and Nicole will reunite for the next season of The Simple Life. The duo have not been on speaking terms for at least a year now but suddenly have rekindled their friendship. Maybe their peace accord has something to do with all the headlines they've had lately regarding anorexia, DUIs, and club brawls. The producers of The Simple Life say Paris and Nicole will hash out their differences next season so we'll get to know what they were fighting about. Ooooh... I'm on the edge of my seat! It's probably going to be over something stupid like a boy, clothes, or a mis-spelled text message.

Here are The Five: Things that Paris & Nicole probably weren't fighting about:

5. Mac versus PC
4. Setting a timeline to leave Iraq
3. Hybrid versus biodiesel
2. 2004 Presidential Election Results
1. Angelina versus Jennifer*

*I could be totally wrong about this one.

Something tells me Gervais isn't losing any sleep over this.

Seems that hotel heiress/reality show star/professional nightclub visitor Paris Hilton wanted to be on Extras, and Gervais said no. So now Hilton is firing back, calling him insecure and saying: "I guess he's obviously scared of starring alongside an A-lister."

Hilton did not elaborate on who this "A-lister" was.

[via TV Tattle]

The E! network is the latest to make its shows available on iTunes. No, you can't buy 100 Biggest Celebrity Oops or 100 Most Starlicious Makeovers (who would want to?). But, you can buy some of its other original programming like The Girls Next Door, Dr. 90210, The Simple Life, and The Soup. Joel McHale on my video iPod? Hot damn!

Episodes cost the usual $1.99.

Being talentless, rich and stupid is still enough to keep Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie on television. E! just announced that it'll bring the witless wonders back for a fifth season of The Simple Life. The show, where Paris and Nicole make people feel stupid for having family, jobs and an education, is currently in its fourth season. FOX dropped it after three seasons, but E! picked it up. This season, The Simple Life: 'Til Death Do Us Part, is apparently successful enough to warrant another round. According to Variety, the show tripled E!'s primetime ratings when it debuted on June 6.

Yeah, those are the revelations from this interview with The Sun. She says she's really smart and made up the persona she has on The Simple Life. This is good news, because watching the show you say to yourself, my God, I hope she isn't really like that. And in the only thing Paris Hilton has ever said that makes me respect her a smidge, she says "all reality shows are fake. When you a camera on you, you are not going to act like yourself."

Hilton also says she's quite shy and doesn't like to party, and that if you see her at a party at 3am, she's getting paid for it. Hmmm...

To use a line from the brother on The New Adventures of Old Christine, when Richard brought the new Christine to his son's Parent Night at school, "you know, I think there actually might be something wrong with you."

Paris Hilton hit another car with her SUV after shopping on Thursday night. This isn't the first time she's done it, and TMZ.com has this video too. She didn't stick around to talk to the owner, but she did leave her name and number with an employee.

It's a coincidence that I happened to see this online, as I logged on to tell you my thoughts about the new season of The Simple Life on E! Have you seen this show. What a piece of garbage. Not because it's a reality show, but because it's a bad reality show. It's not even entertaining in that "so bad it's good" way, and you know why? They're lying to viewers. A lot of this stuff is just staged to make for a funny show (though they miss the mark big time). For example, the episode I just watched, they are babyproofing a couple's home. While Nicole leaves the vacuum running and then leaves to go out ot lunch with her assistant and drink a lot of shots and PARTY for the cameras (woo-hoo), Paris takes giant roles of bubble wrap and wraps up everything in the apartment, to the wacky shock of the owner.

You know, no one is that stupid, even her. It's like something written for a bad sitcom. And that's all this is. It's not "reality" in any way.