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December 21, 2014

the situation

'Jersey Shore' Stars Get Six-Figure Raise

by PopEater Staff, posted Apr 11th 2011 10:20AM
Jersey ShoreReady to wrap your head around this? The stars of MTV's 'Jersey Shore' just got a huge pay raise. The "core group" of the eight-member cast will reportedly receive at least $100,000 per episode for season 4, according to Entertainment Weekly.

Yes, you read that right -- $100,000 per episode. And, in case you were wondering, each season of the hit show is about 13 episodes.

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi, Jenni 'J-Woww' Farley, Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino and Paul 'Pauly D' Delvecchio were reportedly holding up contract negotiations for the next season, which led to a delay in their scheduled Italian trip. The group was reportedly asking for more money, and now they have it in the form of a six-figure paycheck per episode.

This isn't the first time members of the 'Jersey Shore' have asked for more money to film the show. Last summer, the cast went on strike in order to rake in more cash.

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Hey, Reality Stars: Keep Your Day Jobs

by PopEater Staff, posted Apr 3rd 2011 9:00AM
Reality Stars
While reality shows have made superstars out of scores of regular people, those aspiring to loftier heights may want to reconsider it as a route to fame. After all, has there been a single reality star who has come close to being the next Meryl Streep, Al Pacino or Britney Spears? We think not.

Pursuing a legitimate career in entertainment takes dedication, patience and study with experts. Not everyone is talented enough to make it work, even after years of preparation, and just being a well-known reality star doesn't entitle you to a career as a singer or actor.

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'Jersey Shore' Season 3, Episode 14 (Reunion) Recap

by Dr. Ryan Vaughan, PhD (no, seriously), posted Apr 1st 2011 5:15AM
'Jersey Shore' Season 3 Reunion['Jersey Shore' - 'Reunion']

Most of us have been to a family reunion at some point in our lives, and they all go down in pretty much the same fashion. You eat some potato salad. You awkwardly hug old rotund aunts wearing toxic amounts of rouge. You all stand around the tether-ball pole wondering what you're supposed to do with it.

You tell the same story 50 times about how you got that scar. You make out with a third cousin, and you break a beer bottle over your uncle's head when he embarrasses you in front of her by telling the story about you locking yourself in the bathroom at Pizza Hut.

That's what normal people do, but what do caricatures of already fake people played by real people do at their reunions? There's no awkwardness, despite an equal amount of worn-out women trading in their rouge for bronzer. People with standards so low are impervious to awkwardness. Of course they told the same stories over and over again, and they all stood around Snooki and wondered what to do with it. All they needed was some potato salad.

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'Jersey Shore' Season 3, Episode 13 (Season Finale) Recap

by Dr. Ryan Vaughan, PhD (no, seriously), posted Mar 25th 2011 5:25AM
'Jersey Shore' Season 3 Finale['Jersey Shore' - 'At the End of the Day']

All good things must come to an end, but what happens with horrible things? They seem to live on forever with no end in sight, and when they do end, they leave a scar on your soul so deep you feel like your girlfriend broke up with you because you were adopted ... and you didn't even know you were adopted.

The same is true for 'Jersey Shore.' Sure, Season 3 is "over," but if you think you've heard the last of Snooki and the rest of the family, you're sorely mistaken. They'll be in Italy next season, wreaking havoc on the unsuspecting and undeserving Italians, calling it "the homeland" or "the old country" way too much. In the interim, they'll be popping up at random clubs and state fairs to sign autographs. If you're lucky, maybe The Situation will come to your town and you'll get your picture taken with him at the food court in the mall.

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'Jersey Shore' Season 3, Episode 12 Recap

by Dr. Ryan Vaughan, PhD (no, seriously), posted Mar 18th 2011 5:40AM
'Jersey Shore' S03/E12['Jersey Shore' - 'A House Divided']

How long can this go on? Seriously. Every Thursday is like the embarrassingly bad sequel to 'Groundhog Day,' only I'm not able to manipulate my actions and environment, and I'm forced to watch a gaggle of Guidos wrestle with their own dignity and self-respect only to be pinned in record time by shame and douchebaggery.

I suppose I should just embrace 'Jersey Shore' for what it is, and watch knowing that it's not trying to be anything more than a mindless escapade of partying, homoeroticism, and aspiring to have the skin tone of a Muppet. By those standards, it's the best show on television, even better than 'Entourage.'

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The Situation Bombs Hard at Comedy Central's Roast of Donald Trump (VIDEO)

by Jason Hughes, posted Mar 16th 2011 1:31AM
Mike It looks like there is a situation that Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino can't handle at all. Comedy.

Be warned that if you watch the accompanying video, you will bear witness to a bombing the likes of which most comedians have never seen in doing stand-up. For some reason, Sorrentino was invited to 'The Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump' (Tue., 10:30PM ET on Comedy Central), and he was so much worse than expected.

Comedy Central Roasts have had some awkward roasters before. Courtney Love and Brigitte Nielsen proved they weren't comedians, but they seemed at least aware that they were out of their element. Sorrentino looked as if he actually thought his material was funny.

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'Jersey Shore' - Season 3, Episode 11 Recap

by Dr. Ryan Vaughan, PhD (no, seriously), posted Mar 11th 2011 8:30AM
'Jersey Shore'['Jersey Shore' - 'GTF: Gym, Tan, Find Out Who Sammi is Texting']

Forget the A-Team. If you don't know, but really want to know who someone is texting, if no one else can help, and if you can find them through the haze of cologne and hairspray, maybe you can hire... the 'Jersey Shore.'

If you were wondering what kind of nonsense MTV could take and turn into something pseudo-important in a fantasy world where people still wear Ed Hardy: it's texting. I'll defuse some of the suspense for you, here's who she's texting:

Ronnie: your hair looks dumb and you smell like a trans am. STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND
Snooki: girl, you look hot 2nite. like a hot pig!
Jenni: we should have a scratch fight soon. i MISS us!
Deena: who r u again?
Mike: oh, now i get it! "situation" is your nickname, but also a term to describe a combination of circumstances!

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Jason Biggs Meets The Situation, Offers Workout Tips (VIDEO)

by Donald Deane, posted Mar 10th 2011 11:00AM
Jason Biggs Meets the Situation, Offers Workout TipsOn 'The Early Show' (weekdays, 7AM ET on CBS), actor and New Jersey native Jason Biggs describes a photo of him taken with Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino of 'Jersey Shore.' Biggs said he's in the process of offering workout tips to the buff reality star in the pic.

"Here I am giving him tips on what kind of crunches to do, just my training regimen and just sort of what goes into it, how to get that rock solid, distended tummy," Biggs said of the photo, which shows him displaying a potbelly while Sorrentino flashes his famously-sculpted abs.

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'Jersey Shore' Season 3, Episode 10 Recap

by Dr. Ryan Vaughan, PhD (no, seriously), posted Mar 4th 2011 5:20AM
'Jersey Shore' S03/E10['Jersey Shore' - 'A Cheesy Situation']

I'm pretty sure that 'A Cheesy Situation' was going to be the title of this show, instead of 'Jersey Shore,' which only won out after it was agreed that 'A Cheesy Situation' left too little to the imagination.

Someone who likes to hear himself talk once said, "you can never go home again," and that quote is even more true if you're talking about a fake family that you're contractually obligated to be a part of even though the thought of putting your food next to theirs in the refrigerator makes you want to either cry or stab someone, or both.

But clichés be damned! Sammi was going to prove to all the naysayers and the people who watch the show just to have something to talk to the cute girl at work about, that she could indeed, "go home again." This time would be different, and by different I mean pretty much exactly the same in terms of day-to-day angst and disturbingly trite turmoil.

I think we're all a little confused about Sammi. Should we applaud her for sticking to her commitment to mental and verbal abuse at the hands of Ronnie and whoever else might misconstrue her asking to borrow a pair of shoes as "are you calling me a whore?" Or, should we condemn her for either being naive enough to assume everything will be better because she went home for a day, or arrogant enough to think she can win over the people at MTV and convince them that the "Ronnie and Sammi go to couples counseling" episode will be great television?

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'Jersey Shore' Season 3, Episode 9 Recap

by Dr. Ryan Vaughan, PhD (no, seriously), posted Feb 25th 2011 5:00AM
'Jersey Shore' S03/E09['Jersey Shore' - 'Kissing Cousins']

I know 'Jersey Shore' is largely invested in taking things to the next level, which isn't difficult to do when you start at a level just below common street filth. The show only works if it can continually top its own shenanigans on a weekly basis -- and by "works," I mean, "keeps people tuning in out of morbid curiosity and or the chance to see someone from their high school get publicly embarrassed."

What happens when you run out of notches to take things up to? You get desperate and you go to extremes, but certainly incest is below even 'Jersey Shore's' standards of depravity and shamelessness, right? The truth is, they all talk about how they're a "family" until they're orange in the face, and while this carries little to no meaning, it still makes it feel like incest when Snooki talks about smushing Vinny, or Deena -- who's the hideous step-sibling in this equation -- drools over Pauly.

Will 'Jersey Shore' resort to one of the oldest sitcom tricks in the book by starting to pair off its principal characters like they're Ross and Rachel from 'Friends?' Let's hope so. It's the quickest way to get Pauly and the Situation to work through their latent homo-eroticism and just start dating exclusively already.

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'Jersey Shore' Season 3, Episode 8 Recap

by Dr. Ryan Vaughan, PhD (no, seriously), posted Feb 18th 2011 8:05AM
'Jersey Shore, S03/E08['Jersey Shore' - 'The Great Depression']

I'm sure that everyone who lived through the actual "Great Depression" is psyched about the title of this week's episode (see above). After all, nothing dignifies widespread poverty, economic collapse, unemployment, and having to eat -- I'm assuming -- dirt and rocks more, than eight morons getting paid exorbitant amounts of money to go to the gym, have sex with mutants, and complain about having to work two hours a week at a t-shirt shop ... all things that actual Depression survivors would, and most likely did, murder people for.

But the depression they're referring to is, I would imagine, Ronnie's, and it runs deep. No one will ever be able to cope with his Xenadrine-induced mood-swings with as much aplomb as Sammi once did. No one will ever subject him to petty jealousy the likes of which even Derek Jeter is not accustomed to. And, most importantly, no one will be able to take him to the doctor and get more joy out of his anal leakage than Sammi Sweetheart. The Great Depression, indeed.

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'Jersey Shore' Season 3, Episode 7 Recap

by Dr. Ryan Vaughan, PhD (no, seriously), posted Feb 11th 2011 6:50AM
Ronnie and Sammi fight['Jersey Shore' - 'Cabs Are Here']

We all know how break-ups go: You calmly state your differences, you tell them they're better off without you, you ask for the last year and a half of your life back, you shake hands, and you go on your merry way without a stitch of resentment or bitterness.

If 'Jersey Shore' has taught us anything it's that they have a knack for wrestling "normal" to the ground and beating it with its own hands, all the while screaming "why you hitting yourself?! Why you hitting yourself?!" I don't expect the fallout from Sammi and Ronnie's break-up to be much different. In fact, if I thought Sammi were capable, I wouldn't be surprised if Ronnie woke up with a severed horse's head between his legs.

Unfortunately, as with any break-up, it's the children who suffer. What will become of little Snooki and The Situation? Will they have the strength to hit the gym? Can they find it in themselves to get to Karma? Will they be able to see the bigger picture and lure drunken tourists back to the house with the disorienting mélange of Axe, bronzer and Nicorette? We can only hope.

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'Jersey Shore' Season 3, Episode 6 Recap

by Dr. Ryan Vaughan, PhD (no, seriously), posted Feb 4th 2011 5:10AM
'Jersey Shore' S03/E06['Jersey Shore' - 'Should We Just Break Up?']

The 'Jersey Shore' house is experiencing a window of content that damn near feels like summer camp, but with a lot more self-tanner and about the same amount of awkward sexual tension. Seriously, everyone is getting along: Ronnie and Sammi aren't swinging at each other, MVP are doing their "thang" (it's a great deal different than a "thing"), Snooki has seemingly upped her dosage, Deena is marginally less annoying, and even Jenni and Sammi are back on good terms.

If there were bunk beds, they'd share one, graciously deferring to the other concerning top and bottom. If there were a campfire, they'd all be seated on rocks and logs around it, fist-pumping and singing traditional Jersey campfire songs like 'Tubthumping' by Chumbawamba. If they had Kool-Aid, they'd call it Bug Juice and put some vodka in it. Can it last? Or will a bear come into camp and maul everyone to death? I can live with either.

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'Jersey Shore' Season 3, Episode 5 Recap

by Dr. Ryan Vaughan, PhD (no, seriously), posted Jan 28th 2011 5:20AM
'Jersey Shore' S03/E05['Jersey Shore' - 'Drunk Punch Love']

With all the rumors floating around about the greased-up gang from Jersey (more or less) spending next season in Italy -- which would either be the most awesome or most catastrophic thing that could happen to our country's already stellar worldwide appeal -- it's enough to make us stop taking for granted what we already have: A weekly television show that I would classify as a trainwreck if I didn't think that would be offensive to actual trains crashing.

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Jason Statham Shares His Situation with 'The Situation' (VIDEO)

by Aimee Deeken, posted Jan 26th 2011 5:30AM
Jason Statham Talks The Situation on 'Tonight Show'Perhaps flight attendants are intimidated by Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, but Jason Statham is not. On a plane bound for New York, the action star discovered someone in his seat, he told 'The Tonight Show' (weeknights, 11:35PM ET on NBC) audience.

"The guy's got a hood, and it's completely tied really tight. And he's got the dark glasses and he's sitting back," described the action-film tough guy. He told the mysterious passenger, "'Excuse me, you're in my seat,' and he doesn't do anything."

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