It's a shame that television doesn't have the equivalent of the Razzies, an award that extends much needed raspberries. It's such a veritable gold mine of sub-standard entertainment that the list of nominees could circle the globe twice and the awards show itself would take three days.

Then again, the Emmys are long enough.

Thanks to this lack of a punching bag for bad television, tons of horrific, terrible and just plain bad shows don't get the golden punch to the groin that they so richly deserve. They simply crawl back into the darkness unscathed, fresh-faced and ready to strike again. So in honor of Bob's "Nine People and Shows that Deserve Emmy Nominations," here are the shows that would have won big at the Emmys ... in the Bizarro World!

How is it possible for a show to go from drawing the biggest opening ratings ever for a network to cancellation in one season? That's easy: a breakdown in creative differences between the host and his cast.

Unfortunately for Jeff Dunham, his cast is a bevy of inanimate puppets that he controls. So when creative differences break down between him and his cast, it's probably due more to a breakdown in cognitive faculties and a lack of strong anti-psychotic drugs than creative differences.

Comedian Rob Lathan explained just how such a thing can happen in this Funny or Die video.

Comedy Central has reportedly passed on a second season of 'The Jeff Dunham Show.'

According to the Live Feed, the network says it has "no plans to renew the series at this time." However, the network will remain in business with the famed ventriloquist, thanks to a previously signed deal, which will include a network special set to air in fall 2010.

Among the speculated reasons for 'Dunham''s cancellation: production costs.

These days, it seems you can't turn around without hearing about comedian Jeff Dunham, arguably the most popular ventriloquist since Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop -- and a lot more polarizing.

In case you don't know Dunham, he's been a ventriloquist for 25 years, has generated 350 million hits on YouTube and, according to Forbes, earned $30 million last year (placing him just behind Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock as America's richest comedian). He also earned record-breaking ratings last week for the the premiere of 'The Jeff Dunham Show' on Comedy Central.

But he's also got plenty of detractors, and a Dunham backlash seems to be gathering steam.

I'd had limited exposure to Dunham thus far, but after catching his guest appearance on '30 Rock,' I was curious as to how others respond to his act -- which is politically incorrect, to say the least. Sure, he's got a ton of fans; on the other hand, EW readers apparently can't stand him, and Videogum called his show "the worst thing in the entire world."

The networks have had a quiet summer, quietly introducing scripted bomb after scripted bomb, so they're certainly ready to jump into the new fall season. And It looks to be an interesting one. ABC is scheduling a two-hour block of new comedies on Wednesdays as the sitcom tries to make a comeback.

Even more risky is NBC handing 10:00 to Jay Leno every night of the week. Everyone's waiting to see how that one plays out. FOX is banking on huge positive buzz for Glee to make it a hit, while ABC is hoping FlashForward can pick up where Lost is leaving off when it wraps its run this season.

To help you with it all, TV Squad has put together a handy calendar of all the premieres so you can schedule responsibly in this busy time of TV watching. Some nights have as many as twelve premieres scheduled, so you might need to invest in a few more DVRs to catch all your favorites; Monday's still look grim. Bookmark this page and you'll have it handy to help see you through.

Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham was selling out clubs and theaters for years before his first Comedy Central special, Arguing With Myself, aired in 2006. That was followed by two more specials, Spark of Insanity and Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special, all of which generated monster ratings for the network. Last year's Christmas special was the most watched in network history with 6.6 million viewers.

So it seems like a no brainer for Comedy Central to step up and see what Dunham can do with his own half-hour series, The Jeff Dunham Show, which is slated to premiere October 22.

Dunham himself is a somewhat soft-spoken, unassuming figure; it's his puppets, like cranky old man Walter, Peanut the "woozle," Jose Jalapeno (literally a Jalapeno on a stick), and the more controversial Achmed the Dead Terrorist that garner the attention. Which is pretty much what a good ventriloquist should strive for. The more the audience pays attention to the puppet, the less they're looking at your mouth.