It's not really possible that every summer premiere on the great American broadcast TV schedule crashed and burned, is it?

But, out of all the original programs that premiered on the major networks after the completion of the fall 2008 season, not a single one got traction.

According to analysis reports, you can take your pick from any of the following shows: Defying Gravity, The Superstars, The Listener, Mental, The Philanthropist, Hitched or Ditched, Merlin and Great American Road Trip. All of them bombed -- each hovering just above a one market share.

In fact, you don't need numbers to prove that the fall crop crapped out. Ask your friend what his/her favorite summer replacement show was. You'll be waiting awhile.

• At 8, ABC has the season finale of The Superstars.
• FOX has a new Hell's Kitchen at 8, then a new More To Love.
• ABC has a new 10 Things I Hate About You at 8, followed by a new Ruby & The Rockits.
• ESPN has two new episodes of The World Series of Poker at 8.
• At 9, CBS has a new Big Brother.
• NBC has a new America's Got Talent at 9.
• TNT has a new Hawthorne at 9, then a new Saving Grace.
• SyFy has a new Warehouse 13 at 9, followed by a new ECW.
• At 9:30, Food Network has a new The Best Thing I Ever Ate.
• At 10, ABC has a new Primetime: Family Secrets.
• There's a new Rescue Me on FX at 10.
• Bravo has a new NYC Prep at 9, followed by a new Miami Social.
• History Channel has a new That's Impossible at 10.
• A&E has a new episode of The Cleaner at 10.
• Travel Channel has a new Bite Me with Dr. Mike at 10.
• Also at 10: Discovery has a new episode of The Colony.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

• At 8, ABC has a new episode of The Superstars.
• NBC has the season premiere of The Great American Road Trip at 8, followed by a new America's Got Talent and A Farewell To Michael Jackson.
  
• ABC Family has the series premiere of 10 Things I Hate About You at 8.
• At 9, PBS has a new Nova scienceNOW.
• Discovery has a new Deadliest Catch at 9.
• TNT has a new Hawthorne at 9, then a new Saving Grace.
• Bravo has a new NYC Prep at 9.
• Also at 9: SyFy has the series premiere of Warehouse 13.
• At 10, ABC has a new Primetime: Family Secrets.
• There's a new Rescue Me on FX at 10.
• A&E has a new episode of The Cleaner at 10.
• Food Network has a new Chopped at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

It could have been worse. It was a 90-minute premiere.

There was a time when I would have watched a show like this, in the 70s or maybe the 80s, when real celebrities would be involved instead of reality show stars. They were fun shows. I watched the first 60 minutes of The Superstars and then sort of snapped out of it, thinking, why am I watching this? Nothing really happened, and I decided I wouldn't care at all if anything did happen. Who cares if Jennifer Capriati loses a bike race?

Wipeout is mindless entertainment. The Superstars is stupid entertainment.

• At 8, ABC has the series premiere of The Superstars.
• NBC has a new I'm A Celebrity... at 8, followed by the season premiere of America's Got Talent.
• At 9, FOX has a new Mental.
• The CW has a new Hitched or Ditched at 9.
• PBS has a new Frontline/World at 9.
• TNT has a new Hawthorne at 9, then a new Saving Grace.
• Discovery has a new Deadliest Catch at 9.
• At 10, ABC has a new Primetime: Family Secrets.
• There's a new Rescue Me on FX at 10.
• A&E has a new episode of The Cleaner at 10.
• Bravo has the series premiere of NYC Prep at 10.
• Spike has a new ECW at 10.
• HBO has a new Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel at 10.
• Also at 10: Food Network has a new Chopped.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

ABC had an earlier version of The Superstars, many years ago, and if I remember correctly the celebrities they had were actually stars. Tonight's celeb list includes David Charvet, Estella Warren, Dan Cortese, and Julio Iglesias (Junior). But at least the athletes are pretty well known. Skier Bode Miller and tennis player Jennifer Capriati should be interesting to watch, and Terrell Owens is there for some reality competition show drama.

The heat of summer is matched only by the hot new TV shows we'll be seeing this season.

We've got the scoop on the return of familiar faces ('Nurse Jackie''s Edie Falco), the next cable hits ('Hawthorne'; 'Hung'), the new reality shows ('The Bachelorette'; 'Kendra') and more that will have everyone talking.

See all of this year's new shows in our 2009 Summer TV gallery.