toasty torpedo

"Put it in me Scott..."

No, that's not dialogue from a new porn movie. Well, actually, maybe it is. The new Quizno's commercial is probably the closest we'll get to a gay porn flick in a mainstream sub shop ad.

Have you seen the commercial (after the jump)? It's for their new "Toasty Torpedo" subs, and if you think it's only a coincidence that they're shaped like long male sex organs, think again. The talking oven, which sounds a little like the gay brother of the HAL Computer from 2001, talks to Quizno's worker Scott about how they "both enjoyed" whatever they did before the commercial started (Scott burned himself...somehow), and now he wants Scott to put his toasty torpedo in him. Pay attention to the part where the oven says "we both enjoyed that." Scott looks down at his crotch. The hell?

It's really hard to figure out what audience they're going for. I guess we should all be grateful that there's no mention of "mayonnaise" in the ad.