toddler

I suspect that the pitch meeting for this new channel for babies sounded like something from Death to Smoochy, where television execs who look like Jon Stewart and Catherine Keener talk about how babies are an undiscovered television demographic.

Launching today on DirecTV is BabyFirst TV, with all-infant programming all the time. Programming will include stuff from Brainy Baby and First Impressions DVDs, as well as a storytime. No other information is available and the network's website wasn't working as of midnight Wednesday.

Television for toddlers is a hot button issue with a lot of parents, parenting experts, and those who just like to weigh in on such things. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against babies watching any kind of television (did anyone tell this to the folks at Baby Einstein?). However, studies show that an estimated 68% of children under 2 watch at least one video a day and... this shocked me... 26% of kids under 2 have a television in their bedroom. Wha?

Those of you with small children might be interested to know that Disney's Little Einsteins, the animated preschool program about a group of intelligent youngsters in a magic rocket which uses classical music and fine arts to enhance the educational experience, is now available on iTunes. Individual episodes will be $1.99 while the full first season will be $25.87. So, basically, if your kids want to download these episodes they need to get off their blankets and get a job so they can afford to pay for them. If you just buy them the episodes, they'll never learn what it means to work for something, which is why you should send your three-year-old to work a nightly ten-hour shift as a longshoreman. This will make the experience of watching the program all the more meaningful, trust me.