As his story progressed, we started to anticipate the inevitable punchline, but the way it came about was still deliciously twisted. Arnold put Criss up in a motel room and checked in on him periodically, trying to help the guy get cleaned up and maybe get into rehab.
But then his old girlfriend from Boston wanted to take care of him. The two battled it out until one day Criss was gone from the motel. The girlfriend had had him brought to her.
Now, at 51 and married for the fourth time -- he's confident that this one will stick -- Arnold has decided to go back to his stand-up roots to tell some of the crazy stories from his life.
'Tom Arnold: That's My Story And I'm Sticking To It' is his first-ever stand-up special, debuting on New Year's Eve at 9PM ET on Showtime. In the special, Arnold talks about what he euphemistically calls his "first marriage" along with tidbits about being friends with the governor of California -- let's just say that he and Arnold Schwarzenegger found out that having guy talk on government-owned phones is a bad idea -- and things he's learned from his previous wives.
In a wide-ranging interview from earlier this month, Arnold and I talked about the special, his marriage to Roseanne, what it was like to go back to the stand-up world, if he thought Schwarzenegger got a fair shake as governor and what's on his career and life bucket lists.
"It's public record: None," answered Arnold. "It was a choice because, you know, I had step-kids, and I wanted to be able to look myself in the mirror in a few years ... The truth is the woman, you know, she saved my life ... It's not that I'm such a super-duper nice guy, it's just the right thing to do."
It also spawned a pretty decent made-for-TV HBO movie. Now I don't know what kind of craziness "Round Two" has to offer, but the players involved are definitely going to have all sorts of wild secrets revealed from Carter's work and when it does, HBO is going to want the movie rights. So here's who should play who in this new tragic merry-go-round of television programming hilarity that shall be called 'The Late Shift 2'.
"Pull the trigger man. That's the only way this leather is coming off my back." - Jax to Alvarez, the head of the Mayans who orders him to give up his club jacket
Jax is supposed to be the hero of this little modern day Shakesperian epic, but he's starting to look more and more like the enemy in each episode.
I don't mean that he'll be the one in the end who has been scheming the whole time behind SAMCRO's back with the white power. This is a well-crafted, slow paced, high caliber drama, not a badly written Schwarzenegger movie with a thrown together twist ending (cough, Total Recall, cough).
Jax is more of an enemy of himself. He might have good intentions at heart, but his moves are nowhere near his brain. Maybe his loyalty to his family runs deeper than he ever imagined. Logic and family hardly make a decent cocktail. Anyone with a brother-in-law can tell you that.
The thing I'm starting to love about this show is the way it switches gears on just about any incline. They are so swift and sudden that the law should go totally "nanny state" and require me to wear a helmet during each week's episode.
For example: in this week's chapter, we see the aftermath of Gemma's rape and the toll it takes on her as she tries to keep it from the club. Then the very next shot is of Tig, played by Kim Coates and some random fishnet whore slowly waking up with hangovers that could stun an elephant, together in a spent 69.
And I ain't talking about a broken down '69 Chevy.
|Roast of Joan Rivers||Sun, Aug 9 10pm / 9c|
If you've been following my write-ups of the show these last few weeks, you know that I've done my best to avoid reviewing it based on the actual stand-up comedy. Well, we're at the point now where I can't hide anymore.
So, let's get reviewing (and please, comedy gods, forgive me)...
Thank God You're Here, an improvisational show in which celebrities must walk into the middle of a scene and try to ad lib their way through it, will air on NBC April 9, but you can check out a few clips of the show on YouTube right now, courtesy of NBC. I've placed a scene with Tom Arnold after the jump for your harsh judgment.
While I'm a huge fan of improv, having seen more than a few Second City performances, not to mention both the British and American versions of Whose Line is it Anyway? (the British one is better), I have to say that, based only on these short clips, Thank God You're Here lacks the cohesiveness and professionalism that made Whose Line so enjoyable. When I watched Whose Line, I knew the performers were professionals and could handle anything, but watching Jason Alexander and Tom Arnold struggle through their scenes just pulls me in too many directions: one moment I'm laughing and the next moment I'm worried the actors are just going to freeze up.
I think the show will be worth a look, but something tells me it won't be the most consistent comedy on television.
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