Funny series of screen caps over at TV Newser. I guess MSNBC went "Breaking News" crazy over the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes wedding, and actually had a whole series of neverending stories at the bottom of their screen all day long. Hopefully they covered other news that day too.
Did they cover other celebrity stories like this too? "Breaking News: Bob Barker to retire," or "Breaking News: Ben Affleck buys a Mocha Frappucino at L.A. Starbucks."
Maybe - maybe - they could have had one "Breaking News" report at the bottom of the screen, when the couple were actually married. But did they actually have to go add "Breaking News: Tom Cruise arrives at castle" or "Breaking News: Ex Penelope Cruz sends white roses"? Jeez. They could have had a bunch more. "Breaking News: MSNBC puts up a Breaking News logo about Tom/Kate wedding" and "Breaking News: Jennifer Lopez and Brooke Shields among invited guests."
Oh, wait, they actually did have that last one.
Okay kids, I'm going to keep this edition of Extra Hollywood Access short and sweet. I've got a chicken in the oven and its incessant screaming is really making it difficult for me to concentrate. Let's get the party started:
Wow! Not sure how accurate this is going to actually turn out, but Life and Style Weekly is reporting that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are heading to Splitsville.
Holmes, the former Dawson's Creek star, is currently seven months pregnant with Cruise's baby. He returns to the big screen this summer in Mission: Impossible III which was directed by Alias' JJ Abrams. Life and Style is reporting that the couple will work together until the child is born and will then announce the split. They plan to share custody of the child. Once again, Wow!
What about all the memories though? Tom jumping on Oprah's couch! The marriage proposal at the Eiffel Tower! The pregnancy announcement! Heck, we even made Tom Cruise one of the top stories of 2005! I need a new celebrity couple to obsess over!
Ellen: "Have you thought about a Godmother?"
Tom (wearing sunglasses inside and freeze-smiling like an android): "Not yet - are you available?"
Ellen: "Have you thought of a name?
Tom (android laughter): "Not yet."
Tom (more android laughter): "If its a boy?"
Then they just kind of babbled for a long time. Tom said that "Kate" had just learned how to snowboard, and "Kate" said, "Snowmobile", and dipped her head into Tom's neck. Ellen looked on, confused, until Tom changed the subject: "Inside joke."
This was the closest it got to resembling an actual conversation between human beings:
Ellen: "I'm serious about really helping out. How often do babies have to eat?"
Tom: "I think it's a couple of times a week?"
So, all in all, pretty crazy-free, and as such, thoroughly disappointing. But Ellen fans would still be well served by tuning in – at the end of the show, she bumps-and-grinds with the Pussycat Dolls, and it's totally worth the wait.
- Everything you need to know about this issue of Inside TV is right smack dab on the cover!
- There's a rundown on everything that TomKat has been up to lately (with photos!), in a title that sums it all up nicely: "Crazy In Love."
- Matt Lauer: How he keeps his marriage sexy. Oh God.
- The 24 Diet. Yup, that's right, a diet plan based on the FOX show. This has "let's try to tie this article to a TV show somehow" written all over it. Read it and you'll say "what the hell does this have to do with 24, except for doing things at a certain time?" Some of the tips: 8 am, eat 5 egg whites. 9am, glass of water. 11 am, glass of water. Noon, a large vegetable salad. 1pm, 2 glasses of water. 4pm, two sticks of sugarless gum. 8 pm, floss and brush. 9 pm, rent a DVD...unless it's Monday, then you should watch 24. Ah, there's the connection! (What, no exercise tip that says "6pm: get tortured, then beat up bad guys?") I suggest the Lost diet: eat nothing but fruit and fish for 40 days. For exercise, outrun invisible monsters and evil kidnappers.
- Inside TV "finds" Erin Murphy, Tabitha from Bewitched. Which couldn't have been too hard, considering she's been in the public eye for the past 20 years and is currently doing a ton of press for the new movie.
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