Biting the hand that feeds you is a popular sport in Hollywoodland. We all know that Scientologist Isaac Hayes, the voice of South Park's Chef, parted ways with the show after its Emmy-nominated, Scientology-mocking "Trapped in the Closet" episode aired last year. Hayes was reported as saying that the show had crossed from "satire" to "intolerance," which is apparently what happens when your own belief system is mocked instead of someone else's. Following the controversy, Chef was served an unholy and definitive end in which he was burned, beaten, impaled, shot and quartered by a grizzly bear and a mountain lion. Oh, and he defecated as he expired.

Given this series of cartoon events, why the New York Post would bother to ask Hayes whether or not he planned on returning to the show is beyond me, but Hayes' answer was clear.

Christmas came early at my house. An online casting call has been posted for a continuation of R. Kelly's hip-hop opera Trapped in the Closet.

In the summer of 2005, Kelly released the first five chapters of Trapped in the Closet as music videos, each ending with a cliffhanger, on MTV and BET. Unable to contain his genius, Kelly introduced a sixth chapter for the MTV Video Music Awards in 2005 and an additional six chapters on DVD in 2006.

Next to K-Fed's rap career, Trapped in the Closet is one of the greatest acts of unintentional comedy to be unleashed on the music-listening public in the past several years. His commentary track is comedy gold, and the chapters have been parodied by Jimmy Kimmel, South Park, SNL, MADtv, Upright Citizens Brigrade and Weird Al. Even his fans have referred to the "hip-hopera" as the "Plan 9 of music videos."

Can you believe that South Park is coming up on its tenth season already? I remember when I first watched it in 1997, taking a break with my buddies as they helped me move into my current home (which means that I've been in this apartment for almost ten years, too... gulp). Since then, the show has aired many episodes that have caused controversy, got people all over the world talking, and pretty much pissed off anyone in any position of power.

Comedy Central acknowledges this and, leading up to the tenth season premiere, will air the "Ten South Park Epiosdes that Changed the World," playing a different episode from the list every night at 10 PM starting on Sunday, September 24. I'm sure some of the more recent controversial eps, like "Trapped in the Closet," or "The Return of Chef!", but I'm also sure they'll play some of the earlier episodes, including the pilot, "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe." Sniff. I'm getting misty-eyed just thinking of that one.

There was a lot of talk about the "Trapped in a Closet" episode of South Park, Tom Cruise's alleged involvement in trying to have it taken off the air, and how it spurred Isaac Hayes to leave the show (or spurred his pals in the Scientology community to convince him to leave, depending on what you read). The episode came back into the limelight when it was nominated for an Emmy, but alas, it didn't win. Instead, that honor went to The Simpsons, which won for the episode "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story." Producer Al Jean did reference the South Park episode in his acceptance speech, however, joking, "This is what happens when you don't mock Scientology." I'm happy to see The Simpsons win their ninth Emmy, but between their episode and South Park's, I have to say South Park's was much better.

A huge disappointment for South Park fans everywhere: Isaac Hayes has quit his role as Chef. It's no big shock that, as a Scientologist, Hayes was offended by November's "Trapped In The Closet" episode. However, many, including the South Park creators, are shocked that Hayes chose now to stand up against the cartoon's disrespect toward religion. To back out of the job and say that the material is personally offensive is one matter, but to scold the show for making fun of religions after doing season after season of jokes about Christians, Mormons, Buddhists, Hindus, and everything else under the sun, is downright preposterous (and it takes a hell of a lot to make me use "preposterous"). Frankly, I am saddened by both Hayes' decision and his reasoning.

Chef has always been one of my favorite characters... I'm too distraught to even make a chocolate salty balls joke.