I always knew that behind that sweet, innocent, fat little face lies the black beating heart of pure evil. That's how evil he really is. His heart lies behind his face instead of his chest.

My suspicions were confirmed when news broke that some Blackwater contractors illegally obtained weapons that were meant to go to the Afghan police force by filing them under the name "Eric Cartman" as a cover.

'South Park' creator Trey Parker told the Huffington Post that when he and co-creator Matt Stone heard the news, "Our first reaction to any story is 'How do we put this into the show?' and the second reaction is 'Did Cartman do that?' because he's so real to us, it's like 'I bet Cartman did that.'"

Some things you just can't make up. South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are working with Avenue Q songwriter Robert Lopez to create a new off-Broadway musical. The subject matter is "under wraps", which means everybody knows what it is. In this case, it's about the Mormons and likely about the founding of the faith. South Park has already dealt with this topic with a small-scale musical of its own.

When this is finally released, tickets are going to be practically impossible to get. Trey Parker and Matt Stone and a religion-skewering musical are a winning combination. They even already have a song from the Mormon South Park episode called "Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum" (at least that's what I call it). It wouldn't be surprising if that catchy tune made it into this musical.

Do you plan on seeing this team's Mormon musical? Let us know in the comments.

If you're a celebrity and you appear on TV's South Park, chances are it's not going to end good for you. You're either going to end up dead, in Hell, or dead and in Hell.

So you can probably imagine the reaction from the family of the late TV pitchman Billy Mays: exuberant joy and ecstatic excitement.

Billy's son Billy Mays III said on his Twitter page that he was "proud" and "honored" his late father was included in their "Dead Celebrities" episode. He's also trying to get a cel of his father's caricature autographed by Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

He hasn't said if he's gotten it yet or not, but he's reportedly sweetening the deal for the South Park creators by throwing in an extra bottle of Chipotlaway absolutely free. Matt and Trey, call now!

Since we've already covered one television-based iPhone and iPod Touch game with Dexter, I thought I'd try my hand at a different one: the recently-released South Park Mega Millionaire.

The game plays like a missing episode from the television show. Unlike the last game South Park Imaginationland, this one is not based on a pre-existing episode (unless it's one of the upcoming ones). The plot is that the boys appear on a Japanese game show in an effort to win money. Each boy then goes through various mazes on roller skates with embarrassing obstacles along the way.

The funniest bit is the dialogue between the Japanese game show host and the boys. While the game has no sounds (which is my only complaint about the game as I would love to hear Matt Stone and Trey Parker speak the lines), it does have word balloons. From that, you get a sense of how the lines would sound. It wouldn't surprise me if Trey and Matt themselves had a hand in this game. The app also allows you to listen to any audio track on the iPod while playing the game.

The characterizations of the Japanese in the game could be perceived as racist, but anybody who watches the program knows that such crass characterization is in the spirit of the show. Some of the prizes awarded include references to the show such as Chinpokomon. The game itself plays like such classics as Sonic the Hedgehog or one of the Super Mario Bros. games. It's simplistic but fun.

Currently the game is on sale for $1.99 (down from $4.99), possibly in anticipation of the new upcoming episodes. If you own an iPhone or iPod Touch and like South Park, I recommend it.

The first time I saw South Park, it was the original "Christmas card," Santa v. Jesus, that was floating around the Internet in 1996. I was living in Buffalo, and my roommates, who were also my bandmates, and also network administrators, had downloaded this new cartoon. As I remember, it took a while to download, more than an hour, possibly two. We watched it before band practice, several times, standing around the guitarist's computer in his room, all of us laughing our asses off.

It was crude in every way - the animation, the language, cheap shots at Brian Boitano for no discernible reason. Of course, rehearsal was repeatedly derailed that evening as we spouted all the wonderful new expletives we'd just learned, and accused each other of ham lust. When it was announced a few months later that Comedy Central had picked it up as a show, none of us could imagine how they would get away with it. It would have to be a completely neutered version of it to even make it on the air.

Tonight was the last episode of the latest set of seven from the South Park Studios. The new ones won't be shown until October.

It's been a pretty strong series so far. I didn't really like last week's with the alien gangster, but the season opener with the Jonas Brothers and "Mr. Mouse" was fantastic. This was followed by four additional strong episodes, including their superhero parody "The Coon," their take on the bailout with "Margaritaville," a gaseous battle of the sexes with "Eat, Pray, Queef," an appearance from army of robot Jews in "Fishsticks," and Cartman's piracy adventures in "Fatbeard."

I recall not being fond of Season 12 while initially watching it, although it grew on me as I watched it again on DVD. Season 13 has been much stronger. Having now watched all seven episodes, I think this season has so far been much better than last.

If you're reading this after watching "Fatbeard," what did you think? If you keep up with the series, what have you thought of the past seven episodes as a whole?

Yes, the South Park guys are very timely.

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The South Park boys are back. And this time, they're bringing a little extra to their DVD set. This is the first set to be available on Blu-Ray, but I have not yet upgraded and only got my hands on the "regular" DVD. That's the one I'll be reviewing.

The season opened strong with the episode "Tonsil Trouble" (in which Cartman gets AIDS). On the commentary, it is explained that this was the "safe" episode that was partially finished in advance to taking a mid-season break. They showed it first because they couldn't decide which of the first three to begin the season with.

I recall not being impressed as the season progressed during its initial broadcast, but upon re-watching it, I changed my mind. This season had some clever themes and some pretty disgusting images, such as Randy Marsh at the computer.

The New York Times is reporting that Matt Stone and Trey Parker will be streaming the first nine seasons of South Park on Netflix. However, the factoid I found the most interesting was that they "retained non-television rights to the show as part of their original deal with the cable channel".

I often praise Matt and Trey and believe that under their guidance they produce one of the most witty, insightful and subversive shows on television. The fact that they had the foresight to retain non-television rights to their show in an era when television is becoming less important as a medium in our daily lives is outright brilliant.

Everybody knows an iPhone user who flaunts his phone to the world the way anyone of us would if we owned something that we believed contained the awesome power of God.

They are always checking their emails or giving you weather updates you never asked for. They always let their phone ring longer than necessary with some ridiculous sounds such as one of those dumb novelty "Pick me up!" chimes or the theme to Sanford and Son to make sure it grabs your attention. Pretty soon, every time they stroke their finger across that smirking touch screen, it subconsciously sounds like fingernails across a chalkboard.

Now, you can one-up your personal iPhone a-hole with this comforting fact: Their almighty cell phone from God won't let them watch South Park because it thinks it's too offensive for their delicate sensibilities.

The prospect of a news show featuring people with disabilities interviewing celebrities and people on the street sounds like a sick way to spend a Sunday evening. That assumption doesn't help when you see South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker's names under the executive producer heading, two guys who made the phrase "Timmy!" and "cripple fight" part of the American pop culture lexicon.

But as Stone said himself in my soon-to-be awarding winning interview (my boss said he would put a gold star on my next paycheck), How's Your News? -- which premieres at 10:30 tomorrow night on MTV -- aims to change the audience's perspective on more than one level.

It's a journey of self-discovery for both the participants and the viewers and that's a big step for a network that has had a hard time figuring out what it's supposed to be.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker are the modern day equivalent of a young Orson Welles arriving fresh off the boat to Hollywood, only with a lot less farting and jokes about having an ass the size of a mid-sized sedan. That part of Welles' life doesn't parallel Matt and Trey's until post-Touch of Evil.

The creators of Comedy Central's South Park have a rare, carte blanche contract to write, produce, star and create just about whatever they want. If they think it's cool or funny or particularly meaningful, that's enough fuel to get things burning.

One of those projects found its way to the small screen, a weekly travel news show called How's Your News?, which premieres on MTV this Sunday at 10:30 PM ET. It features a band of handicapped reporters talking to celebrities and on-the-street schmoes about anything that's on their minds. It started as a series of short films and turned into a critically acclaimed documentary. Stone told me that this time, the ambition and imagination that fueled this project came from its true stars.

Thanksgiving isn't just about completing your Seven Deadly Sins check list before the year runs out. Thanksgiving is about family; learning where they've been, where you are, and where everyone in your life is going. Food and football are just gravy ... sweet, delicious, artery-clogging gravy.

This year, my brother and I flew home with my old man - who hates it when I call him "my old man" - the day before Thanksgiving. That's when a shocker of "Who shot J.R."-esque proportions dropped on the table.

My Dad officially announced that he watches South Park.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone can't seem to keep themselves out of trouble. Paramount is now upset over the footage from their season premiere this past week of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas violently raping Indiana Jones.

For those who don't keep track, Viacom owns South Park. Viacom also owns Paramount which produces the Indiana Jones movies. See the problem?

When you think of funny people in America, who do you immediately think of? Stephen Colbert? Robin Williams? Chris Rock? Matt Stone and Trey Parker? How about David Letterman or Dane Cook?

Some of the people above are on Entertainment Weekly's list of the 25 funniest people in America (two of the people above aren't on the list, nor should they be!). Some of the choices are downright baffling (as usual for these lists): Augustun Burroughs? Please. Diablo Cody? Good writer, but one of the funniest in the country based on Juno? But it's good to see the Sedarises on there (both David and Amy), as well as people like Tina Fey and Demetri Martin. There are even two current cast members of Saturday Night Live on the list. Can you guess who they are?

Once you read the list, you can go into the comments and say "why the hell is _________ on the list?!?"