(S09E13) If I were going to pick one word to express my feelings about the season finale of America's Next Top Model I'd probably have to go with "disappointed".

For starters, Heather is arguably one of the most popular contestants to participate in one of these modeling competitions. I think it's a travesty that she didn't make it to the final three based solely on this popularity.

I'm convinced there needs to be some sort of fan element to this contest that extends beyond the generic "America's CoverGirl of the week" shtick we see every week that doesn't really amount to anything more than a pat on the back.

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(S09E02) After 3,400 or so votes in last weeks poll the results are in, and a majority of you think Heather is going to win this competition. Chantal and Lisa were in second and third place respectively followed closely by Victoria in fourth. Sadly, Janet (my pick) is sitting in fifth place.

After watching tonight's episode, I'm willing to let you all change your mind on the whole Heather thing. Don't get me wrong, I think Heather is an attractive girl and she took a stunning photo in tonight's episode. Despite that, do you really see her as a CoverGirl spokeswoman?

(S09E01) Four years, eight cycles, and countless eating disorders ago, America's Next Top Model premiered to great fanfare on the channel formerly known as UPN.

Cycle 9 premiered tonight on The CW, and although it hasn't changed all that much in eight iterations, the series doesn't seem to be showing any real signs of its age.

Aside from it being a viable excuse for me to watch 13 semi-attractive girls strut around in skimpy clothing, what is it about this show that keeps me ravenous for more? A simple answer awaits you if you'd kindly follow the jump.

Are you high fashion?

Do you find yourself practicing your catwalk as you sashay to the fax machine at work? Do you have an unexplained loss of appetite and find yourself attracted to people with prominent foreheads? Do you spend hours in front of your mirror making "fierce" faces?

Have no fear! You're not going crazy. You're just experiencing America's Next Top Model withdraw. Don't worry because the following should give you a good fix until the ninth-cycle premieres on Wednesday, September 19 on The CW.

(S08E11) It seems like only yesterday I began using this space to relentlessly make fun of 13 want-to-be models, and now we find ourselves already down to the final four. I feel a sad, little tear forming in the corner of my eye.

If Brittany were here, she'd probably cry with me.

Four remain. Which one of the girls will become America's Next Top Model?

(S08E03) So when this episode's first piece of "Tyra mail" made its way into the model mansion it read, "Babies learn how to do it, can you?"

Call me a prophet, but somehow I knew the answer to this question was not "bite, masticate, and digest".

I know skinniness is all the rage in the modeling industry, but holy crap! Some of these girls look like it's day 30 of Survivor and they're part of the downtrodden tribe, sustaining themselves solely on a diet of coconut husks, sea cucumbers, and bark.

I always halfway expect to see Jeff Probst pop out from behind something and offer one of these girls a hamburger in exchange for immunity.

(S08E01) Having the opportunity to view this two hour premiere on two separate occasions made it a little easier for me to catch some of those little nuances that make the show so enjoyable.

For starters, Tyra Banks is certifiably insane. In all honesty, I don't know a great deal of information about her but there are two things I know for sure. For one, she is incredibly attractive. That's all I have to say about that.

Second, she is tied with Reese Witherspoon for having the most forehead real estate in Hollywood. In fact, I routinely call her "Fivehead" around the house, but I promise it's a term of endearment.

American viewers will get a peek at the UK's version of Next Top Model in two British Invasion highlight specials to be aired on the CW on December 13th and 20th. The British version of the popular modeling competition features challenges similar to its US counterpart - physically trying photo shoots, model calls and catwalk throw-downs.

Each of the specials will collapse an entire "cycle" of the show so we'll get to see the introductions, makeovers, cringe-inducing acting forays and crowning of Britain's next top model in one two hour span. We'll also get to see Cycle One host Lisa Butcher replaced by Cycle Two host Lisa Snowden thanks to Lisa Number One's lame, wooden performance. This reverses the tactic taken by the show's US cousin which replaced lunatic judge Janice Dickinson with the lame, wooden Twiggy.

The new season of America's Next Top Model is just a week away, and I got to sit in on an online press conference with Jay Manuel, Nigel Barker and Ken Mok (Executive Producer). But before we get into the new stuff, let's settle some old business. Namely, the great mystery of who ate Bre's granola bars. While nobody on the panel had any evidence (i.e. video footage), Ken Mok nabbed Jayla as the culprit. He wouldn't divulge details, but he said that because of "her previous behavior" producers think it was her who stole Bre's granola bars. I remember a few of you readers had Jayla pegged as the culprit too. I just wonder what Ken meant by "her previous behavior." Did she steal more than just granola? And what are we talking about here -- like camera equipment or tampons? I need details, Mr. Mok, in order to gauge her level of thievery. You just can't trust those home schooled kids. I know I never leave my granola laying about when one is around.